


Lose Myself for You

by ExecutiveDisorder



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Blood, Bruises, Hanahaki Disease, High School, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22691347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExecutiveDisorder/pseuds/ExecutiveDisorder
Summary: Gokudera Hayato does not have Hanahaki. Only high school girls and manga heroines get that stupid flower disease, and Gokudera is clearly neither of those things. It doesn’t matter that he’s spitting out flower petals every time the baseball idiot so much as looks at him for too long, or that he spits out an entire goddamn flower in front of the whole Family.With meddling girls, a concerned boss, a new enemy, and his unrequited crush on a warpath to find his so-called love; Gokudera doesn’t have a moment to think, much less breathe, not with the stupid flowers creeping up on him when he least expects it.
Relationships: Gokudera Hayato/Yamamoto Takeshi, Kurokawa Hana/Sasagawa Ryouhei
Comments: 90
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

It’s on the way to the Tenth’s house that Gokudera spits out the first petal. It’s small and rather unassuming, could even be mistaken for a piece of brightly colored candy. He glances at it before dropping it, a quick turn of the hand that lets the petal get swept away by the wind. He clears his throat, and keeps moving, doesn’t have time to waste on something so unimportant, not when he’s got somewhere to be.

  
The Tenth’s house is no different from the first time he visited, to the hundredth time it must be by now. He’s greeted at the door, the Tenth giving him a hesitant smile as screaming continues on in the background. They’re talking all the way up the stairs, small talk and chatter so familiar. Gokudera hasn’t even properly greeted him, hasn’t truthfully done his full greeting in almost a year, but Tsuna hasn’t seemed to notice, more content to see his friend and talk, than be addressed by a title he still struggles with.

  
“Ahhh Gokudera-kun, I really appreciate you coming over to help me with calculus. I swear, I even paid attention this time, but the numbers and letters just kept coming, and I lost track! So please, please, help me!”  
His hands are folded in pleading and of course Gokudera is going to help him, because he’s the Tenth, his best friend, and who else but Gokudera, his right hand man, to aid him in his time of need.

  
There’s of course another person, his traitorous mind whispers, one more who could do everything you do, could even do it better, or even, someone else who could shoulder the title of right hand with you; but the urgent itch in the back of his throat makes Gokudera drop those useless thoughts quickly and completely. There’s no use thinking about such impossibilities, not when he can do everything the Tenth wants or ever needs. Tsuna needs someone indispensable within the underworld that is the mafia, but he also needs a good friend, which is, embarrassingly enough, something Gokudera is still struggling to be.

  
“Of course, boss! You can count on me! We’ll start by figuring out the best rule to solve the problem and then derive the equation and then—” Gokudera stops talking, because he’s getting the boss’s wide eyed look of panic and confusion, and for the briefest of moments, he remembers G’s advice so vividly, hears him explaining what being the right hand man really means. Of what that role and the role of a friend means.

  
“Or maybe we should start with what you do know and recognize, and work from there?” It’s not hesitant, maybe more tentative, because Gokudera is trying to learn, trying to be more reliable. The Tenth gives a relieved smile and an enthusiastic nod of approval. It warms Gokudera to know that he and the others have come this far, that they’ve grown these past couple years and it shows.

  
Gokudera can proudly say he’s less combative, has learned to mellow with the years and only use his dynamite and rings when truly necessary. The Tenth has also grown, both physically and mentally, he’s still not as tall as Gokudera, and both of them haven’t managed to even reach Yamamoto’s height, the bastard. Gokudera clears his throat, which draws Tenth’s attention, but he waves it off and takes a deep drink from his water. But Tsuna—which is still strange on his tongue, no matter how often he now says it, has all but come into his title as Vongola Decimo, or to others, Neo Vongola Primo. The title itself doesn’t really matter, not as long as Tsuna remains boss and is treated with the respect he deserves. If Tsuna decides to carry on the Vongola traditions as boss, then Gokudera will be fine calling him Decimo till the day he dies, if he instead wants to rebrand the entire family and return it to its former first generation glory, then Neo Vongola Primo has a certain ring to it that he can get behind.

  
Gokudera knows he can still be a bit overzealous, but he’s not lying when he says his famiglia is everything to him, their little found family rivaling the bonds of blood of even the most prominent families. The Vongola have always been a force to be reckoned with, but the tenth generation even more so.

  
The majority of them are still thankfully in Namimori, their last year of high school having just started. The only exceptions to this are Turf-head, who graduated a year prior and is touring Japan as the undefeated champion in both boxing and MMA, simply due to his need to compete to the “extreme,” and that creepy Rokudo Mukuro, who’s still in the Vindice. However, he’s got a feeling that his detainment is slowly approaching an end, if going off Chrome and co’s increasingly good moods. No one has been brave enough to approach them over the issue, especially if it leads to a fight, and then the subsequent destruction of Namimori High. Which now receives the same care and protection as Namimori Middle, but with even more aggression from the Disciplinary Committee and Hibari, who still retains that any disrespect will result in being “Bitten to death.”

  
It’s reassuring to know that while many things change, the important things remain the same.

  
“Uhh Gokudera? How does a function work again?”

Gokudera tries to hide the wince, knows the Tenth is really trying, but by the sheepish grin Tsuna gives, he’s not overly successful. Gokudera is about to explain, go through basically the whole lesson once more, when the Tenth is thrown forwards and thuds painfully to the floor.

  
Reborn, now having aged back to his adult form, has his left foot planted firmly on Tsuna’s back, ensuring gravity and weight do most of the work to keep his prey down. Gokudera wants to help, he really does, but Reborn’s deemed his student’s lack of calculus knowledge reprehensible and punishment worthy, and the gleam in his dark eyes promises more bad than good. And Gokudera, who loves his boss but fears Reborn, has never appreciated an unplanned interruption more than the one he’s given.

  
“Tsu-kun! You have a visitor!”

Nana’s voice carries up the stairs, and Gokudera is nothing, if not an excellent right hand man, and immediately volunteers to get it. He’s almost at the bottom of the stairs when a squeal of pain reaches his ears, and Gokudera sends up a mental apology to the Tenth. He gets to the door with minor difficulties, but every step he takes is dogged by Lambo, who while is now eight, has yet to grow out most of his annoying habits. Lambo claims loudly to be curious about the visitor, and whether or not they have candy for “Lambo-San!” He’s just about to either blow the stupid cow up or kick him, when he opens the door and is greeted by the blinding smile of Yamamoto.

  
Yamamoto’s normally spiked hair is plastered to his face, the early fall heat compounded with training and a quick shower making it stick to his forehead, damp pieces falling into his eyes. His gray shirt is darker in places, water soaking through and clinging—and Gokudera needs a cigarette. He moves to let him through, doesn’t wanna let his brain catalogue anymore details, but Lambo lets out a happy yell, which gets the attention of Futa and Ipin, who then crowd the front door and inadvertently push Gokudera closer to the baseball idiot.

  
At that point it’s impossible not to notice the changes, and Gokudera’s already in a sentimental mood, so he might as well indulge his musings. Yamamoto, for all intents and purposes, is still the very same baseball idiot he was at fourteen, however, at almost eighteen, he’s now taller, broader, and captain of the baseball team. His sword skills still remain unparalleled, only contested when that Varia idiot shows up looking for a fight, but regardless, he’s proven himself pivotal to the family, as both their Rain Guardian and trusted family member twice over.  
The kids are all chattering at once, snippets of conversation drowning out the others, and Gokudera can feel a headache growing. He’s about to snap at them to get the hell out of his way before he blows them up, when Yamamoto gently pushes his way into the house with affectionate hair ruffles to all the kids and then a warm hand on Gokudera’s shoulder. It’s a miss-it-if-you-blink moment, before Yamamoto removes his hand and goes into the kitchen to greet Tsuna’s mom, the kid trio following his every step like ducklings.

  
Gokudera is then left standing frozen in the entranceway, shoulder scalding, and a metallic taste in the back of his throat. When he discreetly spits out the second petal, a dark red stain upon light blue, he shoves it deep within his school pockets, where it mingles with the very lighter he’ll use to burn it with later.

  
Gokudera shuts the front door, the quiet click much louder to his ears than ever before, and just stands there. The chaos of the Sawada household is nothing new to him, nor is the sheer amount of people packed within its walls; yet Gokudera has that familiar itch to just run, pack his shit up and find a new place to lay low for a few days. It’s the residual street rat within him that still occasionally clamors to the surface, the relief in running when things were getting too much. He hasn’t acted on those urges since he was a teen, doesn’t need to, not now when he has a family and friends and a home.  
He’s still spiraling, lost in his own head, when a hand touches his shoulder. It’s not the same scalding feeling as before, but he still recoils all the same. It’s Tsuna, wide brown eyes staring at him in concern, chin a fading red from having face planted not too long ago.

  
“Sorry Gokudera, are you ok? It’s been awhile since you came down here. Is Yamamoto here, I mean, that’s who the visitor was right?”

The Tenth sounds so earnest, and Gokudera could kick himself for being so disturbed by such a small thing as a goddamn flower petal. He’s about to respond, but gets interrupted by Yamamoto, who chooses to walk out of the kitchen at that very moment while carrying platefuls of snacks and treats. It’s embarrassing at how relieved he is at the interruption, but Gokudera genuinely wouldn’t have known how to respond to the Tenth’s question.

  
“Yo Tsuna! I was just saying hi to your mom and the kids. Hey ‘Dera, you two didn’t get far in the calc homework right? I swear I blinked for a second and we were on the next problem. Crazy right?”

  
The Tenth and Yamamoto seamlessly begin chatting back and forth, years of camaraderie and Yamamoto’s outgoing personality making it easy. Since their arrival to high school, Yamamoto’s popularity and reputation had only grown, easily making him the most well known and liked boy in their year and all of school. The Tenth is unsurprisingly almost after him in rank, his reputation for impossible feats and reliability putting a damper on his reputation as No-Good Tsuna, even if his grades and lack of athleticism still attribute to the title. Gokudera himself would be somewhere within the top, as having cooled off personality wise and taken up tutoring as a side job, had endeared him to a decent amount of the student population, and plus, his association with Tsuna and Yamamoto had all but done the rest.

  
Popularity doesn’t really matter to Gokudera, but he knows Tsuna values it, especially as it supposedly bolsters his chances with Kyoko. Kyoko, who at this point, must be acting clueless to every attempt and almost confession Tsuna tries to make, hasn’t changed that much over the years either. Her hair has finally grown past her shoulder length cut of their middle school days, and while not as long as her ten year older self, it’s definitely getting there. She’s also become far more invested in the daily happenings of the Vongola Family, and has been unparalleled in providing advice and support whenever the situation arises. If Gokudera’s being honest, all the women within the family have taken to the lifestyle with simplistic ease. It’s utterly terrifying if he thinks about it too much, but he’s overwhelmingly grateful that regardless of their involvement, they haven’t changed too much from the people they started off as.

  
Gokudera’s also pretty sure Kyoko will eventually drop the act and deal with Tsuna’s almost confessions, either by accepting or choosing to just remain friends. He’s not concerned about that issue whatsoever, but he might be a bit worried about Haru and her reaction. Haru and Kyoko are still best friends, have even become closer with every shared experience, and he’s not worried about their dynamic, as much as he’s worried about Tsuna and Haru’s. Because while she’s managed to dial it back, Haru is still very much into Tsuna. It’s a well known fact, and will eventually have to be dealt with, but for right now, everything is relatively static and manageable. Plus, with Haru dialing back her declarations of love, it has at least made her settle into a much more stable personality. Even though Gokudera won’t admit it, over the last few years Haru and him have become almost close friends. What started off as work and mafia related meetings, quickly turned into impromptu coffee breaks, lunches, and steady texting.

  
She’s still crazy, but she also doesn’t go distant eyed when he starts spouting off about UMAs or just agrees good naturedly every time he mentions aliens. If anything, she pushes back and comes up with an even crazier idea or explanation, and then whips out some crazy costume or diagram to back said claim up. Her costume making skills have only improved over the years, and she’s the quote-unquote fashion expert for the tenth generation Vongola.

  
Distantly he remembers he still needs to respond to some inane text Haru had sent him, when he notices a tanned hand being waved in front of his face. Scowling he swipes at it, fingers knocking into a calloused palm.

  
“Haha! Hey Gokudera, wasn’t sure you were still with us. We’re gonna head up to Tsuna’s room and start on the homework if you wanna join.” Brown eyes are locked onto his face, and Gokudera can’t deal with being stared at right now, doesn’t really want to be seen at all, especially by him.

  
“You can start, but it’s not like you’ll get anywhere. I doubt you even remember a single part of our lesson today.” The words come easily enough, snark the best defense he knows.

  
“Yeah probably! That’s why we have Gokudera to help us out! With you on our side, I’m sure Tsuna and I will understand it in no time.” He says it so nonchalantly, like of course he’ll make them understand advanced math even when their teacher couldn’t. “It’s a good thing Gokudera is so smart, right Tsuna?”

  
Distantly he hears Tsuna agree, and Gokudera wants to respond, to snap something back, but he can’t open his mouth, fears the sickly perfumed fragrance crawling up his throat will make itself known and ruin everything he’s worked so hard to protect. Praise is quite literally choking him up more than ever before.

  
He makes a grumbling sound and waves them up, he digs into his pocket and flashes his pack of cigarettes, makes sure they’re visible in his hand to ensure there’s no questions asked about his delayed arrival. He doesn’t move until they’re up the stairs and out of sight before heading to the back patio, sliding the doors open and closed and then sitting down. He tries to breathe through his nose but that only leads to a coughing fit and a handful of splattered petals dropping wetly into the palm of his hand.

  
The increased number would probably concern a lesser man, but after lighting a cigarette and shoving it into his mouth, he methodically burns every petal, even the one from his pocket. The smell of burning anything is usually unpleasant, but there’s something even worse about the burnt smell of the petals that has Gokudera almost gagging. He’s more relieved when there’s little but ash left, which is easily stamped out beneath his foot and blown away with a breath of tobacco. He crushes his cigarette beneath the same foot, nicotine and petals and blood all underfoot and forgotten. There’s the family and high school and training and calculus to deal with, actual, tangible things, not whatever is itching at the base of his throat.

  
He’s on his way up the stairs when he sees Reborn. He’s leaning against the wall, fedora shielding his face, but Gokudera can feel his gaze. He’s aware he’s been found out, not even really that concerned because it was a question of when Reborn would find out, not if he would find out. Gokudera respects the title of strongest hitman, and wouldn’t do him the disservice of assuming any less.

  
“Don’t worry, I have it covered. Nothing worth worrying the boss or the family over.” It really isn’t, feelings are fickle and he’s sure these will be gone by the week, and all he’ll remember of this is a warm hand on his shoulder and a few burned petals.  
Reborn doesn’t say anything, simply brushes past him and disappears down the stairs. He hopes he passed whatever little test or challenge Reborn had just issued, but with nothing to go off, of he simply pushes into the room.

  
It’s a common sight, Tsuna has his bruised chin resting on his propped open textbook, eyes staring desperately at the equations on the page as if they’ll start explaining themselves at any moment. Yamamoto doesn’t even have his book out, instead his notebook is laying on the table, random pieces of paper sticking out haphazardly while he’s lazily spinning his pencil and staring off into space. Tsuna darts his eyes over at the intrusion and immediately sits up.

  
“Gokudera! Thank god you’re here, we have no idea where to start and I know the homework is due tomorrow and please help before I completely lose it.” It’s so easy, so normal, that has Gokudera loosening his shoulders, nothing has changed, and it’s going to stay like this forever, for as long as Gokudera can have it.

  
“I was wondering what was taking you so long, thought I was gonna have to step in as right hand and teach it myself.”

It’s their usual teasing, but now Gokudera is looking at every word, every interaction differently. He’s trying to figure out when he let his feelings reach such a level, when it switched over from being a harmless crush to choking on every word. He fixates on fond eyes and quirked lips, the relaxed slouch of broad shoulders, even the goddamn lilt of the way he said “right hand.” It’s all aspects of the boy Gokudera has gotten to know so well, aspects that have led to stupid flowers twining themselves into his lungs and sprouting into his chest. He knows instantly how people can say they’ve died and killed for this, knows because warm brown eyes are piercing straight through him and a small smile is wrapping itself around him like a vice grip and all Gokudera can do is—

  
“Keep dreaming baseball idiot. Your position as right arm is more than enough for you. Don’t worry Tenth, we’ll have the work done in no time!”

  
Run away from the issue like he always does, and hope someone from a rival family kills him before love manages to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When their usual training goes awry, Gokudera comes to an understanding that he might not be able to ignore the issue at hand and that the flowers growing in his lungs might be getting worse.

Life continues on and it’s nearly the end of September before anyone really notices. It’s thankfully been easy, almost peaceful, or as peaceful as Namimori can be. What had once been constant battles and struggles has now cooled to the occasional skirmish. That’s not to say that the lack of conflict has made them complacent, if anything, it has inspired them to train more, to try harder to ensure that any possible issue be neutralized long before it escalates. They don’t want a repeat of the Millefiore incident, the scars and memories that still linger in every nightmare, and even though Byakuran’s on their side this time, the fear of failure is still there. The only downside to this idea is that due to the lack of actual opponents, Reborn has set them on a training regimen that pits them against one another.

“No-Good Tsuna can you really only maintain your flight for twenty minutes? Is that really how fast you can go? Pathetic.” Gokudera can hear the Tenth spluttering, flame output at a maximum, over a hundred extra pounds of weight dragging him down. Gokudera would love to help, but there’s really not much he can do, and besides, he’s a little busy trying to blow Yamamoto up while the idiot either slices through his dynamite or bats it away like he’s in his stupid sports game. It’s annoying as hell, but if Gokudera pitches his dynamite just a tad higher than normal, and Yamamoto hasn’t really needed to cut through it other than to keep up their farce, well, no one really needs to know. 

“Haha Gokudera that one was way too easy to hit, also, maybe you should look into different colors for your fireworks? Red’s cool and your color and all, but I think some variety would really add to the overall effect.” The smile that goes with the taunt is all teeth, but Yamamoto’s eyes are bright and his tone is barely concealed humor.

“I swear to god baseball idiot, my dynamite isn’t a toy! They’re not fireworks and you know it, so you better get serious or I’ll blow you up! It’ll be fun too, while everyone’s crying and mourning, going ‘Poor Takeshi, gone so young!’ I’ll be laughing the entire time.” 

Gokudera’s good at being antagonistic, Yamamoto even better at ignoring it, or sometimes, even returning it. The important part of this is that it is common, become so normal over the years that Yamamoto will just slice or bat the dynamite away and they’ll continue like usual. Except, Yamamoto isn’t moving. Is actually just standing there, dynamite falling fast and he hasn’t moved other than to blink a few times. He’s sure he’ll respond at any moment, a brief flash of silver as Shigure Kintoki cuts through whatever is put before it. 

Except he’s not moving, and so Gokudera is moving instead, he’s also sure he’s screaming, because the idiot needs to wake the hell up and do something. The next thing he knows is that his dynamite is falling uselessly, the Tenth hovering over Yamamoto with a concerned look. Gokudera is still running over, doesn’t really need to, because the idiot is fine, but then he’s grabbing the front of his shirt, twisting it between curled fingers, and pulling him close, too close, but he’s too angry to care. He’ll deal with the itch in his throat after he yells at Yamamoto. 

“What the fuck? Why didn’t you stop them? You could’ve been blown up, or hurt, or dead! This isn’t a game, I could have hurt you!” 

Ahh shit, he didn’t mean to say that, but it’s too late now. 

“Sorry, sorry. I just—sorry. I zoned out, I would’ve stopped them, but thanks Tsuna. I’m ok.” He sounds weird, almost forced, and he’s still staring, looking right at Gokudera. And normally, normally Gokudera would’ve accused him of being possessed, or replaced by an alien, or something, but Yamamoto is still just staring at him. It’s frankly unnerving, so he untangles his hand from the front of his shirt and takes a step back. It’s the minute he lets go, takes a visible step back that finally does something. Yamamoto takes a staggering step forward in response, mouth opening like he wants to say something, but it's with an audible click of teeth that silences whatever it was. All three of them just kinda stare at each other, not sure what to say or do. 

“Umm Yamamoto are you ok? It’s strange for you to be unfocused like this.”

Tsuna barely finishes his question before Yamamoto is laughing, it’s rueful and empty, so unlike his normal one that Gokudera immediately hates it. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ok. Sorry for making you guys worry, I guess I'm just more tired than I thought. I think I’m actually gonna head home now though. That ok with you kid?” He still calls Reborn kid, a habit he’s still not outgrown. He’s also the only one still allowed to call him that, Reborn’s favoritism for his supposed prodigy evident. 

Reborn waves him off, a parting “ciaossu” all he gives. Before leaving, Yamamoto passes a hand through his hair and gives them a sheepish smile, but it no where matches his usual one nor does it even get close to his eyes. They watch him gather his stuff and leave, a parting wave before he disappears completely from sight. 

“What the fuck was that about?” It’s a fair question, even though the Tenth tsks at his language, a trait he’s picked up over the years whenever Gokudera and the kids are in the same room. Tsuna lands softly next to him, gloves losing their orange flame and reverting to their normal mittens. 

“I’m not sure. I hope he’s ok, did you say anything that would cause him to act like that?” 

Gokudera would normally bristle at the implication that he did something, but it wouldn’t be out of character, and after all, it is Yamamoto he’s rudest to. 

“Not that I know of? I told him like every time we practice to take it seriously, and that if I blew him up it would be his fault.” Tsuna nods. 

“So just the usual then. I wonder what it was that distracted him like that?” Gokudera shrugs and grabs a cigarette. 

“Yamamoto Takeshi will be fine. As the boss, you need to know when to let your subordinates work out their own issues and when to intervene. This does not yet require your intervention, so don’t worry stupid.” 

“Reborn! Yamamoto isn’t my subordinate, he’s my friend. How many times do I have to say that? Ahh it doesn’t matter, if you know something, you should let us know so we can help him!” Tsuna genuinely seems frustrated, cares so deeply about his friends that not knowing what's wrong or how to help bothers him. 

“I’ve already said not to worry about Yamamoto Takeshi, he’ll figure it out eventually. If you make me repeat myself once more or argue, you’re going to regret it No-Good tsuna.” Reborn has no inflection whatsoever within his voice, and while that would normally cause shivers of fear, there’s something in the way he used Yamamoto’s full name that suddenly grates on him. It’s almost pointed, heavy in a way Reborn’s gaze usually is. 

He’s not sure why it should even matter, they’ve all used each other’s first names before. They've been calling Tsuna “Tsuna” long before anything else, and they call Turf-top, Ryohei all the time. It’s not strange is the point. Except, now Gokudera’s aware that other than Bianchi and Shamal, he hasn’t heard the name Hayato from anyone else except from the Tenth in very high stress scenarios. He’s also aware that other than Yamamoto’s dad, no one calls him Takeshi, which is for sure something he did today. 

It’s with that realization that makes him feel vaguely like he’s been struck by lightning, skin burning, thoughts a jumbled mess, and he has to wonder if this is how the dumb cow feels. It’s a dumb thought though, Gokudera knows first names mean something more here than they do in Italy, but it’s nothing to completely stop over, to lose focus over. Plus, the way he used his first name was completely mocking, thrown out carelessly, nothing worth Yamamoto even noticing. 

“Tsuna, I’m sure the baseball idiot is fine. He probably forgot he had a shift, or practice, or literally whatever idiots like him do. I’m sure we’ll see him tomorrow in class and it’ll be like nothing even happened.” Gokudera truly believes every word he’s saying, is almost envious with how predictable and reliable Yamamoto is. Tsuna must be thinking the same thing because he visibly perks up and looks more collected. Gokudera doesn’t spare Reborn a glance, doesn’t want dark eyes dissecting every word and action more than Gokudera already is. 

“You’re probably right, Gokudera-kun. I’m sure tomorrow will come and everything will be like usual. I think, however, that now is a good time to call training. We’ve been at it for hours anyway, right Reborn?” The Tenth has become surprisingly good at needling Reborn until he gets what he wants, it’s a talent that even Reborn has become wary over. 

Reborn makes a “hmm” sound that the Tenth assumes means agreement, which is great, because Gokudera can now see the exhausted slope of his shoulders, and the way he’s struggling to hold up the extra hundred pounds that are still on him. Tsuna wishes him goodnight, and moves to go remove the weights and collect his stuff. He’s long told Gokudera that he appreciates the occasional walk home, but every night is over kill. So Gokudera is left standing in the middle of the field with Reborn, and he’ll just turn and leave—

“Spit it out. I know it’s been beneath your tongue since you grabbed Yamamoto.” 

Well fuck I guess. He can feel his shoulders straightening, anger at the command and at how transparent he’s been. He whirls to face Reborn, green eyes blazing, because it isn’t an issue. Flower petals are strange sure, but the metallic taste isn’t anything new, nor is the crushing feeling of struggling to breathe. He’s suffered worse at the hands of their enemies, and refuses to even associate this with any issue or pain. 

“No way. Like I’ve said before, this isn’t anything. It’ll go away, or I’ll rip it out, or I’ll just deal with it. A few loose petals aren’t going to get in the way of me doing my job as Tsuna’s right hand or as a Guardian. So don’t worry about it.” He knows he must look a bit wild, green eyes narrowed, hands clenched, and usually pale face red in anger and embarrassment, but he refuses to allow any disrespect in regards to his ability to do his job. 

“Fine. Then spit out the loose petals and I’ll never mention it again.” 

That’s...strange. It’s not like Reborn to ever easily acquiesce to something like this, but Gokudera knows better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. Spitting out the flower isn’t pretty, it’s spit covered and crumpled from being under his tongue, but it’s there nonetheless. 

It takes Gokudera longer than it really should to recognize that Reborn is pointedly looking at him for a reason. It’s only when he looks down at his hand does it sink in fully. 

“For absolute fucks sake.” 

It’s coarse language, but Gokudera thinks it’s warranted this time. What should have been a few loose petals, is instead two petals still connected to the yellow center of an almost full flower. The fact that the flower was probably either fully together, or still developing and growing is not lost on him. It means his feelings are getting worse, which shouldn’t even be fucking possible since he’s relatively sure he’s been in love with the idiot since he was sixteen, and thus, there’s no reason for him to suddenly develop Hanahaki now. It’s dumb and stupid, and completely unfair. 

“What the fuck. What the actual fuck. This is so stupid, I know I’m in love with him, and I understand it’s unrequited, shouldn’t that be enough? Why does this stupid disease see your goddamn suffering and then add to it. Doesn’t love hurt enough as is?” 

It’s frustrated tears that cloud his eyes, anger at himself, at Yamamoto, at Reborn for making him deal with this. He knows it’s going to get worse, he’s coughed up enough petals and leaves to make sure he doesn’t forget. And isn’t that funny too? Gokudera recognizes the stupid flower, probably has known what it was since the very first petal all those weeks ago. Forget-Me-Not, the flower of remembrance and true love, a harbinger of spring and lover of rain. They’re dumb and he hates them, and if that’s petty than so be it. 

“You have to deal with it Gokudera. Tell him or don’t, doesn’t matter to me. If it reaches a point that I think is unreasonable, I’ll have you scheduled for removal. You don’t need love in the mafia, you know that as well as I do.” It sounds cruel, would be taken as such by most, but it’s relief he feels instead. Reborn is giving him time to still work it out, to figure out a way around the blooms in his chest, while still keeping the feelings he’s grown familiar to. However, if Gokudera doesn’t work it out, fails, he has a fail safe to ensure he’s back by Tsuna’s side without anyone the wiser. If it means his feelings for Yamamoto dulls to warm friendship, so be it, at least he’ll still have him in his life. 

“Thank you, Reborn.” 

He is grateful, more than anyone could probably know. It’s instances like this that remind him that he’s not alone, that he’s built a family that genuinely cares and worries for him, has friends and mentors that want the best for him without gaining anything for themselves. 

Reborn gives him one last stare before turning, walking towards the sidewalk where Tsuna has appeared and is waiting. Gokudera for an instant sees a flash of green appear on Reborn’s hat, Leon staring back at him as he and Reborn move farther away. It honestly feels like a continuation of Reborn’s stare, concentrated and direct, yet lacking any pity or sympathy that would anger Gokudera. It honestly just makes him feel seen, which is both comforting and disconcerting, and leads Gokudera to get the hell out of there just to avoid it. 

Gokudera’s proven right when Yamamoto shows up like nothing happened the next day. No one says anything, and they quickly fall into their usual pattern of school, bickering, training, and hanging out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I need to add some angst on Valentines Day. Right now the chapters are in Gokudera's POV, and while I might just keep it that way, I might also switch it to Yamamoto's, so who knows.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes to hell a month later when Yamamoto receives an almost too-perfect confession. That event leads to two of the Family members learning of Gokudera’s disease, and preludes even more trouble to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be updating tags and relationships as I go, I might even update the rating depending on where I decide to take this fic, please just be aware of that! Thank you!

It’s the beginning of October long after school’s let out when Gokudera gets a call, the ringtone an overly poppy and cheerful bit that lets him know exactly who’s calling. 

“Hahi! Gokudera, it’s me, Haru! Do you still have that issue of The Wonders and Mysteries of the World that talk about the Namahage? I’m writing a paper on its cultural impact and need outside sources. If not, don’t worry about it. I’m sure I’ll find other sources!” 

Haru sounds exactly the same on the phone as she does in person. Overly excited, high pitched, and talking about some monster or character she has a costume for. 

“Yeah, yeah, I have it. I always have them, you know I don’t get rid of them.” 

It’s true, he’s been a monthly subscriber to the magazine since he basically got to Japan, and for the past four years every issue has been read and added to his bookcase by number. 

Haru herself has read a decent amount of them, has shown up unannounced and made herself comfortable with his collection. It’s both annoying and nice to see her, to have someone else be interested in cryptozoology and the extraterrestrial. They’ve become close over the years, and plus, upon Haru’s unexpected knowledge of another shared trait between them, has taken it upon herself to worm her way into his day-to-day.

“That’s great! Do you mind bringing it with you tomorrow to school, and then giving it to me when we all meet up at Yamamoto’s?” Gokudera winces at the reminder, had momentarily forgotten that every first week of the month resulted in a mandatory family meeting at TakeSushi.

Yamamoto’s dad had long been filled in on what his son was involved in, had truthfully known most of the details already. It was really his suggestion of a monthly family meeting at his restaurant that had started it all. In truth, it was partly him wanting to be filled in on the details, another part wanting to see his son’s friends, and lastly, wanting to ensure the family was strong and secure. Reborn had seconded his suggestion, and with the promise of free sushi, the rest of them had quickly fallen into agreement. 

“Yeah, I’ll bring it. I don’t see why we even need a family meeting this month when literally nothing has changed from the last time we met.” 

It’s a petty excuse, Gokudera knows the importance of keeping everyone informed and updated. But the thought of being in basically Yamamoto’s home, with him, his dad, and the rest of the family, makes him almost break out into hives. 

“You know why. If it’s the thought of being around Yamamoto that bothers you so much, come sit with me and the others. I’m sure Kyoko and Chrome-chan won’t mind, and plus, you can probably get into an argument with Ryohei-niisan that’ll carry through the whole meeting. Haru’s got your back!”

Gokudera drops his face into his hands, mortified at how transparent he is. He even has to clear his throat to rid it of the blossoms that had grown just thinking about the whole ordeal. It wasn’t intentional when Haru learned of his feelings for Yamamoto, Gokudera had just gotten too comfortable around her, and when they had somehow stumbled onto the topic of unrequited crushes, Gokudera had just let it slip. Haru had been a combination of overjoyed and sympathetic to his revelation, her own feelings for Tsuna had not faltered in the past years, which had instantly made her a kindred spirit and another person suffering at the hands of love. They didn’t often talk about their crushes, Gokudera even less so, due to his feelings being for another boy. That had been their weirdest experience to date within their friendship, when Gokudera had offhandedly mentioned his feelings and then made a derogatory comment in association with them. Haru had shown up at his door less than an hour later, and all but threatened him into never speaking bad about himself, his feelings, or any other people who had same-sex inclinations. That was last year, and he had yet to make that same mistake ever again. If he was being honest, her arrival and rant had probably saved him from too much agonizing and self pain, and instead had instilled some sort of begrudging acceptance with who he was, and who he liked. 

“I appreciate it, but I think I’ll be fine. It would be weird not to stay by Tsuna’s side during the meeting, and it’s not like I can ignore the baseball idiot, he’ll end up sulking the rest of the meeting and I’ll be on the bad side of Yamamoto-san’s evil eye.” 

It’s sad that Gokudera knows exactly how that scenario plays out, having tried it once before when he first started recognizing the early signs of a crush. It had led to more property damage, crying children, and flying raw fish than Gokudera would care to ever deal with again. It had been unanimously decided that Gokudera had to deal with whatever issue he had with Yamamoto and become friends again. It had led to the baseball idiot point blankly refusing to leave Gokudera’s side for the remainder of the night, and had resulted in his heart beating way too fast and him being hyper aware of how close Yamamoto was. All-in-all, he wasn’t risking a repeat. 

“If you’re sure...Hahi! I didn’t realize it was this late! Well Haru needs to get some beauty sleep before school, so I’ll see you tomorrow! Don’t forget the Namahage magazine and please get some sleep Gokudera.” He rolls his eyes, Haru always tells him to get some sleep before ending their calls, and he’s not fond, not at all. Not of the loud mouth girl who yelled at him that she accepted Gokudera however Gokudera was, and that he shouldn’t bad mouth her friend in front of her ever again or he’d face the consequences. She’s ridiculous and completely annoying, and Gokudera doesn’t send her one last text wishing her all the extra beauty sleep she so desperately needs. He goes to sleep a little bit later, not because she asked him too, but because he needs sleep before school tomorrow, and if he feels just a bit warmer than he had before, well no one needs to know. 

Gokudera is feeling significantly less warm when he wakes up to rain greeting him first thing in the morning. The weather forecast calls for storms and torrential rain for the rest of the school day, and it’s not exactly an omen, but Gokudera is part Italian, and has lived in Europe long enough to still be wary. So he safely opens his umbrella way outside of his home, sacrifices the few drops of rain on his person rather than deal with the years of bad luck. If he’s hyper aware of every little thing he passes or sees, well, you can just blame that on him being a seasoned mafioso, and if he jumps ten feet in the air when the Tenth touches his shoulder, then… you would be more distracted by the lit dynamite that is shoved down the laughing idiot’s shirt. 

His suspicions of this morning being an omen get proven true, when everything goes straight to hell at lunch. 

“For the last time baseball idiot, ‘whoop’, ‘bwah!’, and whatever that last noise you made makes absolutely no sense. I don’t even get how you managed to even apply those sounds to sudoku, which is a number and strategy game.”

Gokudera and Yamamoto had migrated over to Tsuna’s desk at the start of lunch, usual rooftop location completely rained out. And what had been Tsuna’s casual attempt at initiating small talk with Kyoko and Hana just the next desk over, had quickly devolved into bickering. The sudoku puzzle was strewn innocently over Kyoko’s desk, but numerous scribbles, scratched out numbers, and red pen revealed that too much struggle and thought had been put into it. 

“It’s a game though! Any game can be understood if you just feel it, and suduki is kinda like baseball if you think about it.” 

“Sudoku! Su-do-ku! Say it with me!” 

Yamamoto just laughed, “That’s what I said Gokudera! Hmm… maybe your fireworks are too loud if you can’t hear properly? Maybe we should go see Dr. Shamal and ask if he’ll make an exception to his no-male rule and test your hearing. We can even get you those, like, ear plugs! Those bright orange ones would work right?” His smile is tilted, more smirk than genuine humor. It’s annoying how distracting it is. 

Gokudera knows he’s being baited on purpose, Yamamoto has developed almost scary accuracy in knowing what buttons to press to get him riled up. This light taunting is rather tame for now, as it’s Yamamoto’s patented social teasing. However, give it time, enough motivation, and a more secluded environment, and Yamamoto will press every nerve to the point that even the family sometimes intervenes. It’s unnecessary intervention, Gokudera is far more capable of handling it, as well as returning it, than anyone else. He even enjoys the banter, enjoys the pointed insults that the ever smiling and oh-so perfect Yamamoto gives out. 

Gokudera’s definitely not delusional enough to deny he likes the attention, maybe even likes the insults even more than he should. However, what he enjoys most is what the more severe teasing brings about, which is a bright glint to the idiot’s eyes, it’s just a shade off from when he’s fighting, which is vaguely worrying if you think about it. It’s just Yamamoto’s darker personality shining through, which, when revealed, is something to witness, as it’s completely terrifying and kind of really hot. Not that Gokudera would admit that last part even under duress. 

It’s probably due to their current relationship, the back and forth of insults, jokes, and genuine care (even though he’s loathe to admit it), that has created what they are today. Gokudera and Yamamoto have an almost uncanny ability to work together in a fight. Within the mafia world, and especially among the Vongola, the duo of the rain and storm is something to be feared. It’s reached that point of renown that even Reborn has begun to increase their training together, and teach them how to further complement each other's fighting styles and techniques. For the most part it’s working, but that’s not to say that they still don’t get distracted and fight and bicker with each other, as evidenced now.

“Now, now, Gokudera! Please don’t take out dynamite in the middle of lunch; Yamamoto please don’t antagonize Gokudera, if we destroy anymore school property Hibari will really bite me to death again!” 

Tsuna is trying to mediate, has to when his Guardian of Rain, the tranquility factor of the family, becomes the agitator. His pleadings and their insults are interrupted by a loud scoff. 

“You two are so annoying! Honestly, just like loud children. Gokudera you should know better than to snap at Yamamoto so quickly, he’s just bothering you on purpose to get your attention like always.”

Hana, unsurprisingly, is the same as always. Her tolerance for children, immature boys, and anyone other than Kyoko, basically nonexistent. 

“That’s mean, Hana! We’re just having some fun, I don’t _always_ bother Gokudera!”

“Liar! You are so blatantly lying right now, you always bother me, and plus, you should know by now that you’re the worst at trying to deceive anyone! You can’t lie to save your stupid life.” 

“Not true! I can lie just fine! I could be lying right now and you wouldn’t even know it.” It’s a challenging look, and Gokudera’s not one to turn down a fight. But, it’s at that moment when a light, yet firm voice interrupts. 

“Yamamoto-kun, umm could I speak to you for a moment?” At least five pairs of eyes swivel to look at the girl that has appeared. “Uhh, maybe in the hallway?” 

Gokudera instantly recognizes her as Suzuki Himari, a classmate of theirs. His brain immediately catalogues everything he knows about her. Seventeen, struggles in English but is by no means stupid, part of the girls softball team, and one of the most popular and outgoing girls in their year. It’s only after he has assessed these basic things that he realizes just what she’s here for. It’s the way she’s standing, slight fidgets and unnecessary movements, the flush of her face, and most noticeably, the envelope she’s holding in between delicate fingers.

Yamamoto is receiving another confession, and it’s fine, he’s fine. 

“Ahh yeah of course Suzuki-kun! I’ll be back in a bit. Oh! Tsuna don’t let Gokudera eat my bento.” Then the idiot leaves, walks right out with the girl while Gokudera’s still spluttering incomprehensibly. 

“Like hell I’d eat his shitty food. Tenth I would rather eat my own dynamite than whatever that idiot brings, right?” Gokudera needs the Tenth to play this game right now, needs a distraction right now, because, because, Suzuki Himari is almost too perfect. Strong willed, sports oriented, and Gokudera has seen the girl roll with the punches like the best of them. She’s also friendly with Kyoko and Hana, and Gokudera can see her slotting into the family so seamlessly, standing right beside Yamamoto. 

The Tenth, for all of his hyper intuition, completely misses Gokudera’s attempt at avoiding this conversation, and instead, goes straight for the kill. 

“That’s Suzuki-kun of the softball team right? That’s almost too perfect for Yamamoto, do you think he’ll accept her confession?” 

“I hope so! Suzuki-chan really likes Yamamoto, and I think they would be a cute couple. I’m sure Yamamoto will come back and tell us shortly anyways.” 

Kyoko sounds delighted, and Gokudera would be more concerned about her sheer joy in meddling had there not been the overwhelming taste of blood in his mouth and a scratchy, suffocating feeling in his throat. Gokudera needs to get to the bathroom now, but to get there means going into the hall where Yamamoto is, and if Gokudera sees or hears anything, then that’s it. Game Over. He’ll hack up blood and flowers right then and there, and that’s, that’s not something he can do. It’s not fair to Yamamoto who deserves someone like Suzuki, not fair to be forced to deal with Gokudera’s feelings. Gokudera’s already coughing, a deep rasping hack that scratches his throat raw, hand clasped over his mouth because fuck caring about germs right now, right now blood on his hands is way easier to deal with than blood in the crook of his arm. 

He’s about to stand up, croak some excuse to Tsuna, when a tissue packet is plopped before him. Hana standing in front of his desk with almost an expectant look. She’s angled herself in such a way that makes it impossible to see Tsuna or Kyoko’s concerned looks. Makes it impossible for them to see him. He locks eyes with her, and he immediately remembers a time early last year where Hana was sick, coughing and wheezing in class, a nasty cold that she couldn’t shake she claimed. It escalated to her being gone for almost a week straight, rumors even saying she was going in for surgery for one reason or another. It wasn’t until she returned near the end of the week, looking like her normal self, that everything finally went back to normal—except, for the minor detail of her and Ryohei having finally admitted their feelings and agreeing to start a relationship. 

Kyoko when asked, said she wasn’t surprised, that apparently when Hana had fallen ill, not ever naming a particular illness of course, that her brother had spent a lot of time over at the Kurakawa residence alongside her looking after Hana. Apparently, the two had feelings for each other for longer than Kyoko even knew, and being in close quarters just revealed what both really felt. The two are still dating even now, Ryohei’s traveling and involvement in the Mafia not enough of a deterrent to end the almost year long relationship. Gokudera’s glad that it worked out for Hana, that unrequited love didn’t ruin her like it does to so many people, but he knows the bitter taste in his mouth won’t go away with just a declaration of feelings, knows innately that the only way he’s surviving this is through sharp knives and clinical surgery. 

So, he discreetly wipes his hands on a tissue, making sure every little blue petal is tightly wrapped and hidden from plain view. Two more unused tissues are wrapped around it just for good measure, and Gokudera has a ball of crumpled tissues by the time Yamamoto returns—all without Suzuki. 

Hana walks back to her desk, grabs her mini hand sanitizer, and returns to give him some, playing up the idea that his cough is just that, a cough. She goes to sit down but not without locking eyes with him to convey a future severe talking to, and now that Yamamoto’s back, his coughing fit has been sidelined. 

“Did your talk with Suzuki-kun go alright Yamamoto? You two were out there for a decent amount of time.” Even though everything hurts, Gokudera quirks his lips at how obvious Tsuna is. Yamamoto is back at his desk, chopsticks in hand and his bento open, he’s not eating, mostly just moving things around. 

“Haha, yeah it went fine…” Yamamoto’s right hand is rubbing the back of his head, and it’s not warranted, but Gokudera suddenly has a very bad feeling. 

“She confessed to me, said she didn’t want to finish our last year of high school with any regrets. I told her that I appreciated the confession, but since I don’t really know anything about her, I couldn’t accept her feelings. So, she said we could get to know each other, and that a local place is airing the World Series games we could go to. So, I guess I have a date this weekend?” 

It’s a long winded explanation, but by the end, both the Tenth and Kyoko are ecstatic. They’re both still talking at Yamamoto when Gokudera snorts. Reaches over, and snags a piece of the idiots lunch and swallows it, fish and blood and the waxy flower petals mixing together, but Gokudera doesn’t even taste a thing. 

“Not bad, Suzuki’s pretty, and your first date being watching baseball is a nice touch, since you’re both, you know, baseball idiots and all.” It’s Gokudera’s normal, bland Yamamoto’s-got-a-girlfriend compliment. It’s easy, every few months just replace the name of the girl and add a simple detail with an insult mixed in. He’s got the technique patented, hasn’t let any pain or inflection into his voice since Yamamoto’s first girlfriend their third year of middle school. He steals another part of the bento, just to be a dick, but Yamamoto doesn’t even notice. 

The rest of the school day is a blur. Chatter about Yamamoto and Suzuki popping up every now and then between classes, Yamamoto tries to tease him, but it falls flat, and Gokudera’s not even sure who’s at fault for that. 

He’s overwhelmingly relieved when the bell signals the end of the day, and with a hasty goodbye to the Tenth, and a noncommittal noise at Yamamoto, he’s out of the doors before most of the school. Everything is still soaked, but the rain has seemed to pass for the moment. He’s not even sure where he’s going, just knows he needs to get out of there. He ends up at a park not far from the school, has planted himself in a still damp swing and is swaying back and forth, before he realizes just exactly where he is. It’s the very same park that he and Yamamoto had been at, when everyone else went to visit their homes ten years in the future. It looks the same now as it does ten years later, and Gokudera’s eyes burn at the humor of it all. How some things change, while others remain exactly the same. 

Because of course Yamamoto is going to have girlfriends, will keep having them until he finds someone just as bright, and dumb, and perfect for him, and then he’ll marry them. And Gokudera will be forced to be happy for him because that’s what family does, and oh god, the idiot will probably even ask him to be a groomsmen, and he’ll have to deal with watching him up close and personal love and marry someone else. 

And then he’s retching, and he can’t breathe, and he’s gasping and there’s someone in front of him, and they’re saying something but he can’t understand them over the rush of blood in his ears. When he does manage to get a good breath of air, his lips are blood stained, and he’s holding three bloody Forget-Me-Nots and someone just exhaled far too loudly. 

It’s Ryohei, because why not, why would it be some random stranger when he can have the loudest member of the family witness him coughing up blood and flowers. It’s all too funny, and when Gokudera looks down and remembers he’s holding three flowers that represent his actual unrequited love, the only thing he can think of is—

Three strikes. “I’m out.” And then he’s laughing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a very rough idea of how this fic will unravel, so like before, just be aware of tag and relationship updates. This fic is 8059 centric, but it will include focus on other characters and relationships within it. I have a feeling this might become a long multichaptered fic, so I really appreciate the support and comments I’ve received on it! Chapter 4 should be up within the week, so just be on the look out for it! Thanks everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a new enemy emerges with a devastating weapon, Gokudera and Ryohei are forced into action. Their unexpected altercation reveals a new group on the rise, their eyes and ambitions set solely on the Guardians. This new enemy, however, is not the only revelation of the day, and Gokudera has to accept that his once closely guarded secret cannot remain hidden any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet! I appreciate everyone’s support!

Gokudera’s still laughing by the time Ryohei starts talking. It’s a morbid amusement at the entire situation, and he’s grinning, blood stained teeth in full view in the fading daylight. He only stops laughing, when the idiot grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him forward, swing chains groaning at the sudden force. 

“Stop laughing! This is bad to the extreme squid head. Hanahaki is a serious thing!” 

“I already know that idiot, tell me something I don’t know.” 

He knocks Ryohei’s hands loose, smooths the front of his shirt, and opens his packet of cigarettes. 

It’s probably not the best thing to do at the moment, but he needs the reassuring inhale-exhale that only smoking brings. So he lights the cigarette in a brief second, takes in a deep drag, and resolutely ignores the way his chest aches and his lungs burn. 

“Do the others know?” 

It’s a fair question, but also an important one, so Gokudera makes sure to lock eyes to get the point across. Even takes his cigarette out to make sure the idiot hears him properly. 

“Nope, and it’s gonna stay that way. I’m dealing with this just fine, just had a bad day is all. So make sure you don’t open your big mouth and start blabbing.” 

Ryohei doesn’t say anything for a moment, instead choosing to sit in the swing to the right of him. Gokudera takes another drag, both of them just swinging in silence, and it’s so odd, so out of character for him, that Gokudera side eyes him, just to make sure he’s still there. 

“What are you going to do? I’m no expert, but coughing up three full flowers usually isn’t a good sign. Could you tell the person, maybe they share your feelings? It...it might work out. Or, I mean, there’s always the surgery, I hear it’s not actually as bad as people make it out to be…” He pauses, “I don’t know what to say, or what to do to help you. I really don’t like this Gokudera, I hate when anyone in my family is hurting and there’s nothing I can do.” 

The swings chains groan in protest when he tightens his grip, frustration evident, and Gokudera just keeps smoking. The two of them don’t do this, don’t talk about emotions or personal issues, and this is almost painful, but Gokudera, who had been on his own for years, who was told would never be accepted into a family, is nonetheless grateful in his own way.

“You don’t have to do anything, idiot. I’ve got this covered, and plus, Reborn is already aware of it, so it definitely won’t get out of hand. Just, keep it quiet, I really don’t want this to get out anymore than it already has.” 

Ryohei’s still quiet, appears to be lost in his own head. It’s strange to see him so still, so quiet, so it’s easy to decide what he does next. 

He stands up, swing creaking in complaint, and turns to face Ryohei, “Ok Turf Top, first one to TakeSushi gets the losers eel.” His cigarette is hanging loosely from his lips, moving with every word. 

The idiot blinks, “Should you even be running after all of that?” 

He makes a good point, but Gokudera needs things to be normal, needs everything to go back to the way it was, or he’ll lose it. So Gokudera scoffs, drops his cigarette, and then darts off. 

“I guess I’ll just have to enjoy your eel to the ‘extreme’ then!”

It’s a challenge as clear as day, and distantly he hears Ryohei’s yell, before the idiot comes tearing after him. 

They’re maybe five minutes away from the restaurant, almost neck to neck, when someone steps out before them. They’re both forced to skid to a stop, still stumbling, Gokudera’s about to snap out at an apology, when the stranger pulls out a gun—and then Gokudera’s tackling Ryohei to the ground. 

The impact hurts, but a bullet hurts a fuck ton more, and since both of them are still amped up on adrenaline, they scramble to their feet without delay. Gokudera’s already thinking of his weapons, determining which to use and the extent he should go to. He could call out Uri, activate the Storm Buckle and set up the Vongola Gear Shields—but they’re still in a residential area, and the risk of drawing in outside casualties is too great. He’s still calculating the best course of action to take down the mystery assailant when Ryohei rushes forward, sun flames emerging from his Sun Bangle and enveloping his fists. He and the stranger spar back and forth, the gun still held tightly in the guys hand. And since Gokudera’s not fighting, he’s able to take stock of what’s happening. The gun is still a major threat, but with the speed at which Ryohei is punching, it makes it hard to aim, and on top of that, Gokudera doesn’t notice any other weapons on the guy, both hands clear of any rings. It’s strange to see such a conventional method of fighting, especially after everything they’ve been through, and for some reason, it makes Gokudera all that more wary. 

The man himself is rather nondescript, obviously not Japanese, as his light brown hair, blue eyes, and European features reveal. There’s nothing else to really note about him, except he’s now managed to distance himself well away enough from Ryohei to now cock the gun, and it makes an almost whirring noise, which is definitely not like any gun Gokudera has ever heard. And then Gokudera’s screaming, “Get away from him! Now! That gun is definitely not normal!” Which draws the attention of the guy, and the gun is now aimed at him—

And it’s all the warning Gokudera gets, before he’s diving for safety, a beam of something, light or energy, taking out a decent amount of concrete from the wall he’s hiding behind. It’s the only shot released, and Gokudera’s pretty sure Ryohei’s not dumb enough to still be in range of either the gun or the guys sight, so he’s probably safe.

“Come on out Guardians, let’s not play like this. I do not have time for games.” 

The loud call is in heavily accented Japanese, rougher than the Italian accents he knows, and so he mentally checks off the Latin based countries and their possible gangs. It’s definitely closer to an Eastern European accent, but Gokudera needs more details before he can theorize anymore. 

“Well, you should’ve thought about that before you started shooting at us. And, since you know we’re Guardians, why don’t you tell us something about yourself? Only fair, don’t you think?” 

It’s an obvious ploy to get the guy monologuing, Gokudera needs time to think, and people love the sound of their own voice, so usually it’s a win-win. 

“Ahhh, a quid pro quo you want then, why don’t you come out and I tell you who I am?” The voice is colored with mirth, obviously aware of what Gokudera’s trying to do, yet, there’s something else behind the tone that chills him. 

His breath of laughter is harsher to his ears than he expects, “Don’t think that’s happening Bastard. Why don’t you drop that gun of yours and walk away, that way you live, we live, everyone’s happy.” 

“Hmmm, tempting, but I think I shall decline, my boss would not appreciate our hard work going to waste. You understand that very well Gokudera, the duties of the Right-Hand Man that we are entrusted with. There is no failure in this line of work, only success or death will meet us at the end.” 

“That’s pretty fucking grim, but I can’t say your wrong. So let’s cut the crap and do this. Let’s hope your sack of shit boss doesn’t miss your pathetic face too much.” 

Gokudera’s good at antagonization, enjoys the thrill and predictability of inciting reactions, so when he hears the whirring sound of the gun, he gets into position. Knows that the wall he’s taken cover behind can’t sustain that much damage again without fully collapsing. So he’s crouched down, sticks of dynamite in hand, and waits for the minute the gun discharges. 

He doesn’t have to wait long, and the minute he hears the release, he’s rolling forward, dynamite flying towards the man. The man smirks, and fires again, the gun blowing up his dynamite prematurely without taking any damage to himself. He aims it at Gokudera, attention focused solely on him, and—immediately staggers forward, gun clattering to the ground and skidding forward. Gokudera makes a desperate grab for it, and manages to get it in his possession before seeing two more thugs rushing Ryohei, who had been the one to get the jump on the guy. It’s instinct more than anything, when he pulls the trigger. The whirring sound louder now that the gun’s in his hands, but still quieter than he expects. The two guys rushing forward are sent flying back, crashing into more guys who had been lying in wait, and Gokudera doesn’t need to think twice before yelling, “Run!” 

The two of them race past the unconscious body of the original assailant, sliding and almost tripping on the wet pavement, barely making it beyond the grasp of the others. They’re a minute from TakeSushi, neck and neck with each other, all the while heavy footsteps and shouts are close behind. It’s only when Gokudera sees Chrome, her distinctive dark hair and signature trident a dead giveaway, does he pull away from Ryohei, and hurtle straight towards her. 

“Chrome, illusion the fuck out of this place and us now. Just fucking hide us and the restaurant, now!” 

He doesn’t mean to bark at her, but he’s out of breath, had been shot at, and still has the gun gripped tightly in his hand. She gives a slight eep at the sudden order, but she must see his desperation and heavy breathing as warning enough, and immediately a purplish mist begins to encompass the area. Her glowing earrings of the Mist and signature trident the only thing he sees before completely being overtaken. It’s only moments later when everything clears and the guys from before come into view. Chrome has a hand over Ryohei’s mouth to prevent any outbursts, and if they hadn’t been in this situation, he would have even found this funny. 

“Damnit! Where could they have gone, they weren’t even that far ahead of us!” It’s the original man who first stopped them with the gun, his voice much harsher in his native tongue. 

It’s definitely not Japanese nor is it Italian, but Gokudera has spent long enough in the Mafia to have made himself familiar with the major international crime groups, and alongside that, has made himself somewhat familiar with their languages. He’s validated in his initial assumption of Eastern European origin, because what the man is speaking is Russian.

“The Boss is going to kill us, you understand that? We were to get the Guardians and return, simple fucking enough! Dimitri and Victor you had one job, what was that job?”

The two men from before begin to fidget, clothes singed and faces bruised, they obviously were hoping to have been forgotten in the chaos of the chase. 

“We were supposed to watch for any intervention in your attempt to get the Storm Guardian.” The ringleader nods, “Yes, very good. Now, what happened when I almost had him?” 

“You, uh, got punched by the Sun Guardian, the one we, uh, were supposed to watch out for. The one we were then supposed to grab too.” Dimitri, Gokudera guesses, was the one to answer. It’s hesitant sounding, obviously trying to placate and not provoke, and Victor steps forward next, hands shaking as he tries to explain what went wrong.

“Artem, we were right there, but then the Storm brat shot us with your gun and—”

“Oh I see, so it’s my fault then? So your original job of stopping any intervention, of stopping the Sun Guardian from punching me and thus making me drop my gun, was really all my fault all along, ahh yes I see it so clearly now.”

The men are quaking, rapid explanations and begging in Russian all overlapping. It’s all within a single breath that Artem then takes out another similar looking gun, a loud whirring audible, and shoots them. The bright beam of light from before hitting them squarely in their chests and throwing them back, where they lie completely still. Chrome makes a quiet inhaling noise, short and choked, and Gokudera immediately wedges himself between her and the men. It’s not a necessary movement, Chrome’s illusions are always top notch, but her quick inhale and Ryohei’s wide eyed stare, triggers something primal and protective.

“Grab them, and let's head back. We have much to discuss with the Boss now that the plan has changed.” 

The man, Artem, turns, long coat swishing as he stalks off, the rest of the henchman grabbing the two men and quickly following after. 

Even when the men have left, cleared from sight, the three of them still don’t move. It’s like they’re stuck in the moment, trapped in the very illusion used to fool the men. It’s only when the sliding doors of the restaurant open, and Yamamoto walks out, does the moment shatter. 

“Yo guys! Woah, you ok? You look like you’ve just run a marathon?” 

He seems surprised to see them, seems even more surprised when Gokudera pivots abruptly and gets only centimeters away from his face. 

“Yamamoto. Answer me clearly and quickly, is Reborn or Tsuna here yet?” 

“Oh yeah, they’re here. Tsuna walked home with me, you were also supposed to walk with us, but you were gone before Tsuna or I could—”

Gokudera moves past him, and makes a beeline straight for the center of the shop. Distantly he hears Yamamoto-san call a greeting, but Gokudera has spotted Reborn and is heading straight for him.

Yamamoto is hot on his heels, actually much closer than Gokudera realizes, only knowing this when the idiot all but runs into him, saving face simply by throwing an arm over his shoulder. Gokudera would be more annoyed, more bothered by this, had he not just come off of being shot at. 

He places the gun on the table, the stark black color contrasting against the light wood. It’s very similar in appearance to Reborn’s gun, Gokudera would even bet it’s the same model as his, yet where Reborn’s gun is black and green on the slide, this gun is black and dark red on the slide, making its appearance and abilities all the more sinister. Reborn picks it up without hesitation, unloads the magazine, which is completely empty, and begins investigating every groove and mark. 

“Gokudera! Where did you get the gun, are you ok? You don’t look so well, neither does Onii-san…Gokudera what happened?” 

Gokudera opens his mouth, means to tell the Tenth everything, but the way Tsuna’s staring at the gun, then to Reborn’s face, and then to him, and then all over again, makes him pause. 

It’s been months since any big disturbance, has been relatively quiet all Summer, and Gokudera’s hit with the memory of all three of them, walking home from somewhere, ice cream dripping sticky down their fingers, and Tsuna turning to towards them, face flushed, and eyes bright.

“This is what I want. Forever, just everyone together and ice cream, and no fights or bad guys, just this. Do you think that’s possible?” 

And it’s tragic in a way, that things are going to change, that tickets to Italy are already booked, the Ninth already gearing to step down, and so, it’s almost easy when Yamamoto laughs and Gokudera says, “Of course Tenth! Nothing ever has to change.” Easy to lie, to keep pretending it’s all a game, because as much as Gokudera hates to admit when Yamamoto’s right, he might have been onto something when he called it the Mafia Game. 

So he closes his mouth, ignores the way Tsuna’s gaze turns quizzical at his silence, doesn’t even think about how Yamamoto’s arm tightens around him, like he’s trying to get him as close to him as possible, and instead remains quiet. 

“We were targeted.” Ryohei’s abrupt interruption draws the rooms eyes, and Gokudera’s grateful for not having to be the one to start explaining the situation. 

“Well, I guess Squid-head was targeted first. It’s unsure if that was their plan, or whether he was simply the easiest target at the moment. They intercepted us five minutes away from TakeSushi, in a less populated area so as not to be disturbed. The main guy, uhh...” Ryohei trails off, and Gokudera’s been silent long enough. He appreciates the brief time Lawn-head gave him to recollect himself, but knows that details and information are his specialty. 

“The main guy is Artem, or that’s at least what the others called him. He referred to himself as his boss’s right-hand, and the rest of the group deferred to him. He could speak Japanese, although it was heavily accented. When we managed to lose them, I heard them transition back into their native language of Russian. I understood most of it, but there were parts I couldn’t fully catch. It’s unclear why they’re here to begin with, or what they want exactly, but we do know they’re after the Guardians, that they at least know my name, and they know that Turf-head and I are respectively the Guardians of Sun and Storm. Even though it wasn’t a full fight, Artem was undoubtedly a tough opponent, and honestly, if Ryohei hadn’t been there, it would’ve been a much harsher fight. Especially if he had used both guns.” 

He gives Ryohei an appreciative nod, can finally acknowledge the use of teamwork and cooperation among them, which the idiot responds with a sunny grin and a thumbs up. Gokudera rolls his eyes, but the idiot misses it, already leaving the room, the slide of the front door indicating more of the family has arrived, and meaning that someone has to go greet and explain things to the rest. He’s glad Ryohei is the one to do it, Gokudera’s still too wired to properly explain, and all he truly wants to do is get his hands back on the gun and take it apart. 

“There’s another gun, exactly like this one?” It’s Reborn who speaks, gun held up as if in emphasis.

“Yeah, the very same, he didn’t use both guns at the same time like that crazy bastard Xanxus, but even just that one gun has devastating destructive powers. Ryohei and I barely got away, would’ve had to fight again had Chrome not been there to illusion us.”

Gokudera cuts his stare to Chrome who’s hovering at the edge of the room, and gives her an appreciative nod also. A small smile curls on her lips, and then Gokudera refocuses on Reborn. He’s still inspecting the gun, turning it over in his hands slowly, before slotting in the empty magazine. He stands abruptly and moves toward the back of the house, intentions and expectations clear as day. 

All three of them scramble after him, acutely aware of what will happen if they don’t. It’s in the backyard where he grabs three practice dummies and places them in a line, each one evenly spaced apart, before coming over to where they are. 

“Gokudera’s already seen how the gun fires, so he’s going to observe. Tsuna, Yamamoto—catalogue how the gun feels when it fires, what the shot looks like, how you feel after, pay attention to even the minutest detail, the same goes for you Gokudera. I want every detail and feeling tied up with this gun, do you understand?” 

All three of them give the affirmative, and then Reborn’s aiming, the whirring sound louder than anything he’s heard so far, before a bright beam is released. It’s white-hot energy, densely concentrated, and it completely destroys the dummy, leaving it splintered into pieces, scorched wood the only proof that something had once been there. 

“Woah, that’s some extreme power. That’s what you two were up against and beat? Amazing.” Yamamoto eyes are wide, eyebrows raised, he sounds like he’s vaguely in awe, and there’s absolutely no reason for Gokudera to be flushing hot, the idiot says shit like this all the time, but the thrill of being praised is still one he can’t seem to drop.

“Gokudera did you notice anything?” Reborn’s voice immediately garners his full attention, and he has to consider everything he’s seen, experienced, and learned. 

“It’s not just a simple weapon, obviously. Artem mentioned the weapon being a measure of hard work, indicating time and money spent on it. The fact that there’s a second means it’s replicable, but that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s more than just the two we know of, but we should still be wary of the possibility. The sound before it fires is weird too, but it’s a good indication of whether someone has the gun and is about to fire. The closest description to the sound is maybe a whirring sound? I’m not completely sure what to classify it as yet. However, the part I’m most worried about is it’s empty magazine, meaning that it fires something other than bullets, what exactly, I’m not sure of yet.”

Reborn nods at his explanation, face blank except for the slight furrow in his eyebrows at the mention of the empty magazine. Gokudera’s not sure if Reborn is going to say anything about it, as his inability to be read as a baby, has obviously been transferred over to his adult self. So instead, it’s Yamamoto who breaks the silence. 

“So...the gun is definitely way more advanced than a normal one, and I heard that whirring sound too that ‘Dera mentioned, it’s like a ‘whoooooo’ sound, kinda sounds like the gun was taking something in, like an uhhh…” Yamamoto trailed off, stuck on whatever he was trying to explain. 

“Like an engine.” It was an immediate answer, and obviously the right one too, going off Yamamoto’s sharp snap released at his answer. Tsuna nods his head, eyes staring straight, but not really focusing on any one thing. 

“So if it’s taking something in, let’s call it, X, then that means whatever X is it has to be its energy source, right?” Tsuna is then looking at them, and they’re looking at Tsuna, and—Reborn just sighs and passes Yamamoto the gun. 

“Shoot the gun. One example isn’t going to reveal everything, the more tests we have, the more research we can gather. _Then_ , we can jump to conclusions, Tsuna.”

The Tenth’s face erupts into red, over what, Gokudera’s not sure. But it doesn’t matter, because Yamamoto’s stepping forward, aiming the gun, and firing. The whirring sound still precedes the shot, the beam of light still white-hot, but what had once been densely concentrated energy, is looser, less focused, and only throws the dummy back, when it’s straightened, it’s revealed to be tattered and singed, but not completely disintegrated.

“Huh, that’s weird? Maybe the gun didn’t take enough energy or something.” 

It’s a decent theory, but Gokudera has a feeling that the gun has taken exactly what it needs. 

“I don’t think that’s it. Baseball-idiot, what were you thinking of when you shot the gun?” 

Yamamoto kinda just blinks, “Uhhh, I guess I was thinking of the gun and hitting the dummy? I wanted to see the shot again, maybe figure out the energy source. I really wasn’t thinking much else, if that helps?” 

“So you were more focused on the gun than the dummy right?” 

“Yeah, I guess? I mean, I wanted to hit it and not miss, but it wasn’t my main focus?” “Gokudera what are you thinking?” 

It’s Tsuna who asks, obviously seeing a thread between the conversations, but needing a more explicit connection. So, to drive home his point, he stalks over to the last dummy and places himself in front of it.

“Tenth, when you shoot the gun, can you imagine it’s one of us, or someone who’s not a threat?” 

“Wait-wha, what? Imagine it’s one of you? Why would I do that?”

Tsuna stutters his question out, and having been passed the gun by Yamamoto, tightens his grip on it. He looks completely flustered, and Gokudera realizes that Tsuna needs more than just imagination to accomplish what Gokudera is testing, he needs the Tenth to be completely committed to actually shooting someone, to actually shoot him, he realizes. He’s about to say as such when he gets interrupted. 

“Tsuna, shoot the gun at Gokudera.” 

It’s completely silent after Reborn’s order. Tsuna and Yamamoto are completely still, eyes wide, and mouths open in shock. Gokudera’s the only one who catches Reborn’s eye, giving him a small nod of understanding, honestly, even a bit relieved that Reborn has come to the same conclusion as him. 

“No way, are you crazy? He could get hurt!” 

It’s Yamamoto who breaks the stunned silence, his voice loud and harsh, eyes burning. Gokudera doesn’t have time to deal with Yamamoto getting bent out of shape, doesn’t wanna think about him anymore than he already does. And is going to say as much, when—

“Yamamoto’s right, that’s way too dangerous! I‘m not shooting a gun at one of my best friends, so just forget it!” 

The Tenth’s voice carries over the distance, resolve evident in his tone and bright eyes, and it’s perfect, exactly what Gokudera needs. So he looks to Reborn, needs him to make the final push, get Tsuna to actually shoot and prove what they’re thinking. 

Distantly, he hears the backdoors sliding open, quiet chatter as the rest of the Guardians and Family gather to see what has caused the loud outbursts. 

“Tsuna-kun, is everything ok?” 

Kyoko is the first one to speak, everyone milling around her in curiosity. The Family meeting is supposed to start within the half hour, and by now, almost everyone has arrived. 

“Yeah, Tsuna-san! We heard some loud yelling and got worried!” 

Haru is looking at them, eyes drifting to each of them, before falling on the gun held tightly in Tsuna’s grasp. 

“It’s fine everyone… Uh, Onii-san, Chrome, please take everyone back in. We’ll be inside in a minute.” 

His request is hesitant, not as strong as Tsuna had obviously meant to make it, worry coloring in his words.

They all look at each other, before Ryohei shakes his head. 

“Sorry Sawada, but we’re not leaving. I already told these guys enough to have them worried. Those guys came after Squid-head and I for a reason, that means the entire family is in danger. So the more we all know, the better.” 

Tsuna opens his mouth to argue, but is cut off by Reborn, who looks at them, face shadowed by his hat, a small smirk tilting at his mouth. 

“Good answer. Ryohei, keep everyone over there for the time being. We’re trying to prove something here, so keep out of the way or else. Do you understand?” 

Reborn gets tentative nods from each of them, before facing Tsuna again. 

Tsuna’s still holding the gun, resolve unchanged, but his eyes widen when Leon transforms into his gun form. Reborn aiming it straight at Gokudera, pinpoint accuracy, but not once breaking eye contact with Tsuna. 

“Shoot the gun at Gokudera, or I’ll shoot instead. And believe me, my shot will be much worse.” 

His words startle gasps out of everyone by the door, and then there's a lot of yelling. 

“You can’t be—,” “that’s crazy!” and “he could get hurt, or worse!” It’s all overlapping each other, but the loudest is undeniably Tsuna and Yamamoto. 

“Reborn don’t! This is crazy, Gokudera move away from the dummy!” Yamamoto’s switching between yelling at Reborn and him, and Tsuna keeps repeating the same thing, “I can’t, I won’t, he could get hurt, Reborn please!” 

“Tsuna!” It’s louder than he expects, but draws the attention of everyone like he wanted. “Reborn wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t believe it would be ok. We’ve always trusted him before, I still trust him now, so just shoot the gun. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry Tenth!” Tsuna’s entire figure is shaking, conflict etched into every feature. It’s only when the click of Reborn switching off his safety does Tsuna finally react. 

“I don’t understand. Why would you... what could we possibly get from this! Reborn! When this is over, you and I need to talk. And that is not up for negotiation, do you understand?” 

It’s not the first time Tsuna has yelled at Reborn, but it’s the angriest Gokudera has ever seen him. Tsuna’s eyes are burning, a cool fire coloring them and his words, and Gokudera has to remind himself it’s just Tsuna, not a threat, from visibly bristling. The quiet after Tsuna’s yell is deafening, everyone shocked at the breakneck sequence of events. Reborn and Tsuna have not once broken eye contact, intense looks and angry posturing conveying everything being exchanged, it’s probably only seconds, but feels like hours, when Tsuna finally releases an aggravated sigh and looks away. 

It’s the sudden click of Reborn’s safety being engaged, that lets everyone know what’s about to happen, and then the gun is transforming back into Leon. Reborn appears unbothered by Tsuna’s anger, but Gokudera can see it in the way his eyes all but glow, that something within Tsuna’s words has ignited something. 

Tsuna aims the gun, the slight tremble making his hesitation all the more evident, and Gokudera feels bad, but he needs to show just how dangerous this gun can be in the wrong hands. It’s only when Reborn grips Tsuna’s wrist, steadying him, does the faint whirring begin, letting him know that the gun is energizing. It’s probably because of the barely audible whirring, the even softer release, and the way his feet have sunk into the wet dirt, that results in him actually getting hit. 

The entire nonverbal plan Reborn and him had concocted, had been a bait and switch, get Tsuna to really think he was shooting Gokudera, and then at the last second, Gokudera would move, and it would hit the dummy instead. It should have been fine. Yet, the impact of the shot has Gokudera stumbling back, falling on his ass, dirt and water staining his hands and clothes, nothing really hurting, just the wind knocked out of him. It’s that breathlessness that results in him dragging in desperate gulps of air. The deep bracing breaths are what ultimately do him in, not even really the stupid gun’s fault. 

Tsuna is the first one at his side, Yamamoto right after. The rest of the family rushing and crowding him seconds later. It’s the blood that he spits out that has Tsuna all but shrieking, “Reborn he’s really hurt! I knew I shouldn’t have—”

But Gokudera rasps out, “Not the gun. Something else.” 

“Something else, were you hurt before? Gokudera, you have to tell us if you’re injured or not!” 

It’s Yamamoto. Of course it’s him, and there’s more blood, and he can feel the flowers and petals with his tongue, but he’ll just swallow them and it’ll be fine. Explain that he bit his tongue when he fell over, clumsy him. They’ll see that he’s fine, that his point has been proven, that the gun’s shots are all about the intent behind them. That’s why Tsuna’s unwillingness to shoot and harm him was reflected in the weak shot that honestly felt more like a shove. Everything will be fine, as long as his throat cooperates and he swallows the blood and petals. 

“Sorry Gokudera, but that’s not happening. Spit the blood out.” It’s Hana who speaks, she’s between Kyoko and Ryohei, and Gokudera knows what she’s going to say, her earlier look proof enough that she wouldn’t leave this alone. He shakes his head at her, green eyes glaring in defiance. 

“Squid-head, spit out the blood and petals. It’s only going to hurt more if you pretend like it’s not there. There’s no shame in it.” Ryohei is the one to out him. Words the final nail in his coffin, and he can hear the exact moment each member thinks on what was said and figures it out. Every surprised gasp and mournful expression twisting his chest. So, unwilling to let the situation get out of hand anymore, he spits out the blood and flower. The Forget-Me-Not in its natural light blue is barely visible under the dark red, which poses a stark contrast against the pale skin of his hand. Blood and saliva drip from his palm, the single flower perfectly preserved. He picks himself off the ground, and moves to the outside sink. Where he washes the blood, spit, and flower down the drain, until there’s not a single shred of what had just occurred remaining. No one speaks the entire time, and by the time he’s returned and cleaned up, they’re all staring at him in varying degrees of shock, understanding, anger, and God only knows what else. 

“Since Lawn-Head forced my hand, yes, I do have Hanahaki, no, I’m not telling you who I’m in love with, and, most importantly, there’s some crazy guys with crazy weapons targeting us. So let’s refocus on that last part, ok?” 

“How long?” It’s Tsuna who asks, voice hard. Gokudera winces.

“Since early September I think, maybe earlier.” There’s a sort of resignation to his voice, and although it feels good to admit the truth, Gokudera knows his silence on the matter will do more damage than anything else. 

“That’s a full month. An entire month of you coughing blood, and gradually getting worse. You didn’t think once to let us know?” 

Yamamoto’s voice is low, almost quiet, anger barely contained. 

“It wasn’t any of your business! I’ve been dealing with it just fine, the only reason Turf-Top knows is because he caught me, and the only reason you know, is because I messed up!” 

“Guys—” Tsuna tries to say something, but is drowned out by Yamamoto. Who’s taken a step closer to Gokudera, hands clenched and trembling.

“Messed up? Yeah, you messed up, no actually, you fucked up. Big time! This isn’t some small thing you can hide, this is literally killing you, or do you just not understand how serious Hanahaki Disease really is? I thought you were smarter than this!” 

It’s….a lot harsher than Gokudera was expecting. So he curls his fingers into the palms of his hands until he feels the bite of nails. Opens his mouth to argue more, to defend his reasons why, when Hana interrupts. 

“That’s too harsh Yamamoto. Of course Gokudera understands how serious Hanahaki is. Everyone here understands just how serious it is, I mean, it’s not called the Disease of Unrequited Love for the hell of it. Do you even know what it’s like to have Hanahaki? To be gasping for breath, choking on your own blood and spit, as something considered to be so beautiful prevents you from even calling out for help? I don’t think you understand at all, but I do. So what, are you going to yell at me too? Blame me for not revealing that my unrequited feelings had taken root so deeply and blossomed into full fucking sunflowers?” 

It’s deathly quiet after Hana’s outburst. Hana’s still standing directly in front of Yamamoto, a challenging look on her face, daring him to argue. Their gazes locked, narrowed, and pointed, and Gokudera’s used to Hana being combative with them, used to her acerbic quips; but to have Yamamoto starting it, to be so openly hostile, is something new. It’s not something he ever wants to get used to, doesn’t ever want to see Yamamoto’s usual smiling mouth twisted into a harsh frown directed at someone within their family again. The two of them still haven’t broken their stare, and it’s starting to affect the rest of the family. Ryohei has gotten closer to Hana, Haru and Kyoko keep exchanging glances, Chrome is clutching her trident for dear life, and Tsuna looks like he’s trying to make sense of everything. It’s only when Gokudera steps forward, still angry at Hana and Ryohei for revealing his secret, angry at Yamamoto for well, everything, and literally gets between them, does their glaring contest end. 

Hana looks away first, dark hair swishing with the abrupt turn of her head, and she doesn’t have to even move before Ryohei is stepping into her space and fitting her to his side. It’s how seamlessly they fit together that speaks louder than words, but Gokudera barely notices, eyes locked solely, _always_ , on Yamamoto. Yamamoto, who has yet to avert his gaze, eyes dark and eyebrows furrowed. He looks as if he’s searching for something, what, Gokudera has no clue. It’s only when Yamamoto drags a hand down his face, a low chuckle breaking the silence, does the moment end. 

His eyes are still closed, hand echoing his laugh, and it should be normal, he should be laughing bright and cheerful. But when he opens his eyes, hand falling to his side, the laughter sounding just the shade wrong, Gokudera takes a surprised breath in. All traces of anger that had once been evident is gone, now replaced with such a deep look of exhaustion and sadness, his shoulders slumped in defeat. It looks nothing like the Yamamoto he knows, nothing like the boy he’s in love with. So when Yamamoto opens his mouth to say something, maybe to cede defeat, maybe to even apologize, Gokudera does the very last thing he ever thought he would, he apologizes.

“It’s...It’s my fault. Yamamoto’s right, I should have said something, told someone instead of keeping it to myself. I didn’t know how to even begin talking about it, I was ashamed of letting my feelings get this far, of being seen as weak. I thought that if I just ignored it, it would go away, but if anything, it just got worse. I’m sorry.” 

He doesn’t look at anyone while he gives his apology, green-grey eyes staring firmly at the ground. He doesn’t hear anything other than quiet footsteps approaching him, feels a hand on his left shoulder, before being pulled into a tight embrace. He looks up in surprise, only to see Tsuna hugging him with his eyes tightly shut, tears brimming at the waterline. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but a second impact makes him grunt instead. It’s Haru, she’s wrapped her arms around his waist, holding on for dear life, and like that, the dam breaks, and he’s being tackled by the majority of the family. 

“Ok, ok, let go. Seriously, this is embarrassing. My bad, I suck, now let me go!” 

“You really do suck, StupidDera!” It’s Haru who cries this, tears dripping down her face. 

“We’re here for you, you idiot.” Hana isn’t really hugging him, but is much closer than before, arms crossed, a flush still on her cheeks from yelling at Yamamoto. 

It’s only when Tsuna lets go, takes a visible step back, that the others finally let go, following the Boss’s lead. Kyoko and Chrome are standing together now, each one having a comforting hand on Haru’s back, who’s still sniffling. Tsuna is still staring straight at him, and so is Ryohei and Hana, who naturally just gravitate towards one another. The only one who hasn’t moved is Yamamoto, face shielded from view. 

“I really am sorry. I didn’t want you guys to find out this way, truthfully, I was hoping you would never find out. That if it didn’t resolve itself on its own, I could just get the surgery and be back before anyone really noticed.” He rubs at his eyes, all the stress of the day catching up, “Looking back, I can see how stupid that is now.” 

It’s quiet, everyone processing what he’s just admitted, when a loud outburst startles everyone. 

“So you were just planning on getting the surgery? Really just going to remove all of the feelings you have for this person before you even try anything else? You can’t!” 

It’s Haru, because of course it is. He appreciates where she’s coming from, but she of all people should know the chances of his feelings being returned are close to none. He’s going to say as such, when he’s drowned out by more than one person. 

“Haru’s right, Gokudera-kun! You definitely have to at least try!” Kyoko is leaning forward, hands clasped together, eyes bright. 

“Yeah Squid-head! You’ve never given up before, why start now!” Ryohei all but screaming his support, Hana wincing, but giving Gokudera an encouraging smile. He needs them to stop, because if they keep going at this rate, then surely— 

“You have to at least try!” And there it is, Tsuna. Tsuna who hasn’t looked away from Gokudera since the group hug, who’s voice is somehow the loudest among them.

“You’ve always encouraged me no matter what, so now, I’ll do the same. Gokudera, you have to at least attempt to get your crush to like you back, we’ll help you do it too! And on uhhhh, uh New Years Day! Confess to them, and if they return your feelings, you’ll get better, right? If they don’t return your feelings, which would make them dumb as hell, then get the surgery, and we’ll never, ever talk about it again! Is that reasonable?”

Tsuna’s looking at him, brown eyes impossibly wide. His resolve to do whatever it takes to help him clear as day, and there’s no way Gokudera can say no, technically can’t, since it’s an order from the Tenth, but he wouldn’t deny the Tenth anything anyway. So he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in, and resigns himself to his fate. 

“Ok Tsuna, I’ll do everything I can to uhh, woo my crush?” He cringes at the wording, but soldiers on, “I’ll even confess on New Years Day, better yet, I’ll confess exactly at midnight just to make sure. But can we now please go inside and talk about the fact that guys with guns are targeting us, I would literally rather talk about us possibly dying than my feelings for any longer.” 

The reminder of the gun, of what had started this all, is a cold reminder of reality. Everyone either nods or makes a noise of agreement, before slowly filing back into the restaurant. The only ones left outside are Gokudera, Tsuna, Yamamoto, and Reborn. Yamamoto has yet to look up, shoulders still hunched, a harsh frown cutting across his features. Tsuna looks like he’s about to say something, but a hand on his shoulder stops him. Reborn has closed the distance from where he had been standing during the impromptu Family hug, to stand just behind Tsuna, startling him at the sudden touch.

“Leave them be, you and I have much to discuss before we talk to everyone else.” 

He then turns, and makes his way towards the front of the restaurant, away from any prying ears. Tsuna follows his path with his eyes, before glancing back at Yamamoto, then finally to Gokudera. His message is clear, and it makes Gokudera twist his lips in displeasure, which only results in Tsuna raising an eyebrow and giving a more pointed look. Gokudera’s shoulders slump in defeat, Tsuna gives him a nod, and then goes after Reborn. 

He turns to Yamamoto, unsure in how to even start this conversation. He shoves his hands in his pockets, better to let them fidget there, than to grab a cigarette, knows Yamamoto doesn't like it when he smokes too much. 

“Listen—” he starts. 

“I don’t get it.” It’s abrupt, sharp sounding. Gokudera blinks owlishly at him. 

“Do you even want to do this? I mean, you resigned yourself to getting the surgery, so that means you’re ok with removing the feelings. So why bother trying to get this person to return your feelings at all? Just tell Tsuna these feelings, _that this person_ , isn't worth it, and I’m sure he’ll understand.” Yamamoto’s finally looked up, eyes intense and a scowl twisting his features. 

Gokudera can’t understand why Yamamoto’s reacting like this at all, has gotten so used to the idiot’s upbeat and positive personality, that he had just assumed Yamamoto would be all for the Tenth’s plan. So he’s more than a little confused on where to go from here. 

“I mean, of course I really don’t want to do this, this is embarrassing as hell. But there’s no way Tsuna and the Family will just accept me calling it quits now, especially that I’ve admitted that I’m in… you know, love. Not without trying anything at least. So, now I have three months to convince my crush, who has never probably even considered me in a romantic sense, to fall in love with me, all while keeping my disease a secret. So, yeah, I don’t want to do this, but I’m going to anyway.” Gokudera pauses, “And I never said they weren’t worth it. They’re definitely worth it, so don’t say shit like that, Bastard.” 

Yamamoto doesn’t respond at first, only huffs a humorless laugh, which Gokudera narrows his eyes at. 

“I don’t get it, and I don’t like it, but it doesn’t matter how I feel. So, just answer my one question, and then I’ll drop the issue, deal?” 

Yamamoto’s features have smoothed into something more familiar, tension still evident, but narrowed eyes and down turned mouth gone for the time being. Gokudera rolls his eyes, but knows it’s best to let the Baseball-idiot get his curiosity sated and move on from here. 

“Fine, make it quick. We still have a meeting and crazy guns to discuss.” 

Yamamoto nods, and appears to mentally gear himself up, which is not at all endearing, no matter what the itchy feeling in his throat says. 

“Why not just confess? Either the person will accept your feelings or they won’t. If they do, then that’s, that’s great.” There’s an emphasis on great, but Yamamoto moves on too quickly for Gokudera to wonder any further on it. “If they don’t accept your feelings, their loss of course, then you get the surgery, and avoid all the suffering. Either way, you’re okay no matter what.” 

It’s said so earnestly, and Gokudera understands immediately what Yamamoto’s problem is, what his usual problem always is. He cares way too deeply about all of his friends and their well-being, and doesn’t understand why he would choose to continue to suffer, when he can just remove the feelings and the issue. 

“Firstly, I’ve suffered way worse than some stupid flowers in my lungs, and don’t make that face! I know it’s not a competition between my suffering, but if there was a scale, these flowers would be way at the bottom. Secondly, I’m also not disregarding my life, I know that’s an issue you have when it comes to… me.” It’s not something he had intended to reveal, and he can feel his face burning but he continues on anyway. 

“Lastly, if I were to get the surgery, it doesn’t just remove the flowers, it removes the emotions. Everything I have ever felt about this person would be reduced to just a warm friendly feeling, which I know doesn’t sound horrible, power of friendship and teamwork and all that crap, but to lose all of that, to lose years of feeling this way… it’s more than I can deal with. So if I were to confess my feelings, admit everything, and then be rejected? I would have no choice but to remove the flowers, remove these feelings, because that rejection would kill me. And that’s, that’s not fair to them, to know I’m suffering because they can’t return my feelings, and it’s not fair to the Family to die over something like that, not fair to myself when I could have prevented it. So please, just let me be selfish, just until the New Year. Let me keep these emotions until I’m forced to part with them.” 

It’s weak, pitiful really, how small he sounds. Mortification crawling up his spine at how much he’s admitted to Yamamoto, fears irrationally that he’s confessed too much, is too transparent. Yamamoto hasn’t said anything, and the silence is starting to get to him. “Ok.” 

“Ok?” Gokudera parrots back. 

“Yeah, you answered my question. And I’ve made up my mind.” 

“That’s ominous as shit baseball brain, but whatever you’ve decided is probably unnecessary and will cause more trouble than good. So don’t worry about it, and like you said, you’ll drop it. 

Yamamoto nods, “Yeah I’ll drop the issue, for now, at least.” Yamamoto’s gracious enough to let Gokudera splutter angrily at his trick. “But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to ignore it completely, you’re my best friend Gokudera, and I’m going to help you! So from here on out, for the next three months, I’m going to do whatever it takes to get this person to like you back. So get used to me basically becoming your shadow, because I’m not leaving your side until this gets resolved! And that’s a promise.” 

Yamamoto has the same look of determination he always gets before a game or a fight, dogged determination to accomplish whatever goal he sets. Gokudera feels vaguely like he’s out of body right now, completely numb to the entire situation, only aware he’s given a stunned nod in, acceptance? Resignation? Stupidity? Something like that, because Yamamoto has thrown an arm over his shoulders and is leading him towards the restaurant. Chattering about anything and everything, but avoiding any of the previous topics of their last conversation. 

It’s only when the entire family is together, Gokudera on Tsuna’s right, Yamamoto on Tsuna’s left, and a plate of sushi with an extra side of eel in front of him, Ryohei conspicuously missing his portion, that Gokudera realizes just how screwed he is. When he face plants into the table, Yamamoto’s laughter ringing loud, and Tsuna’s worried exclamation of, “Gokudera-kun!” Does Gokudera begin the mental countdown till New Years Day. 12 weeks, 85 days, and far too much Yamamoto.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Family meeting begins and with it comes new revelations about their enemy and their weapons. In Tsuna’s bid to protect the Family, he unveils his new plan, which results in a disastrous decision that pairs Gokudera with Yamamoto almost constantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the very long and unexpected hiatus on this story! I’ve been working and rewriting it for the past three months, but couldn’t find the energy to finish it. That thankfully changed recently, where I deleted everything I had been working on and started completely fresh, which seemed to be the answer! So here’s chapter 5 and I really hope you enjoy it!

Tsuna just barely finishes his tea when the cup abruptly shatters. The sharp sound startles the entire room and Gokudera’s jumping out of his seat, dynamite at his fingertips while Yamamoto’s already in a defensive position. 

“Hahi! What was that!” Haru’s surprised exclamation is definitely a shared sentiment among the Family, as everyone is wide eyed and alert. 

“ _That_ was the new weapon we have just acquired. Very efficient, isn’t it?” 

It’s Reborn’s level voice that cuts through the room. He’s leaning casually against the front wall, fedora angled to hide his face while Leon rests peacefully atop it. Within his right hand is the aforementioned new weapon. 

Tsuna abruptly stands, chair scraping and drawing all eyes to him. “Ahhh! Will you quit it with the whole shooting thing? I thought we talked about this?” 

Tsuna sounds exasperated—looks it too, with his fingers gripping his hair and a grimace slashed across his mouth. Tsuna’s focus is firmly on Reborn, his brown eyes narrowed in an unusual glare. He’s not exactly in a fighting position—Tsuna’s preference or penchant for violence has not increased in the slightest over the past four years—but he does look like he’s preparing for some sort of confrontation. 

Reborn, on the other hand, has not moved from his position against the wall. He appears to not only be completely unfazed by the entire ordeal, but bored with it, if the rhythmic tapping of his foot is anything to go by. He gives zero indication of feeling, well, anything. However—Tsuna’s hyper-intuition has rarely, if ever, been wrong, and Gokudera is more inclined to side with his Boss on this issue. So if Tsuna has picked up on some kind of aggression or issue Reborn has failed to communicate—then Gokudera’s standing by him 100%. 

“Unfortunately, Useless-Tsuna, I can't quote, quit it with the whole shooting thing, unquote. It’s my job as tutor and hitman to prepare you for situations like this. Or have you forgotten?” 

The challenging, almost biting tone to Reborn’s voice sets Gokudera’s teeth further on edge. It seems that whatever Tsuna and him had discussed prior to the meeting hadn’t exactly been civil, and the tension between them had only risen. Gokudera has to actively decide to not light up his dynamite and throw them at Reborn for his treatment of the Tenth. Not that it would actually do anything, Reborn being the greatest hitman and all, but the thought still counts. 

“C'mon kid, we haven’t forgotten. Just...don’t you think shooting the gun again is a bit much? We only just came off everything outside, we don’t exactly need a reminder of what it can do.” 

“Yamamoto’s right, Reborn. You know we haven’t forgotten why you’re here, you know _I_ haven’t forgotten why you’re here.” Tsuna pauses, leveling a cooler stare at Reborn. “So let’s put the gun away and really stop with the shooting, ok? We don’t need anymore surprise shots scaring everyone nor do we need any more property damage.” 

An awkward silence follows before Tsuna tacks on—

“Oh, and sorry about the cup, Yamamoto.” 

“Ha! Don’t worry about it, Tsuna. It’s just a cup, we have tons of them. Lemme just grab something for the glass real quick.” 

Yamamoto squeezes Tsuna’s shoulder briefly and heads towards the kitchen, effectively reducing a decent amount of the tension within the room and allowing Gokudera to return to his seat and safely store his dynamite away. Gokudera cuts a quick stare to Tsuna, who’s also regained his seat and is now pushing pieces of glass into a makeshift pile, he seems ok, still miffed, but not enough to worry over. Gokudera then looks around the room and decides to check on the rest of the Family. He needs to get a beat on how everyone’s feeling after the roller coaster that was the past few hours. 

The girls—Haru, Chrome, Kyoko, and Hana are huddled together in the back, talking quietly amongst themselves. They appear to be okay, but Gokudera wants to make sure. He manages to catch Haru’s gaze and is about to do something—maybe gesture or mouth a simple, “Are you ok?” But she’s already rolling her eyes and quirking her lips into a small smile, the single raised eyebrow conveying that she’s totally fine. 

He gives her an unamused look but she’s already ignoring him, throwing an arm around Chrome and leaning over Kyoko to poke Hana on the nose. He can hear the quiet giggles and grumbles from the girls and Hana respectively, and it must relax something within him because he feels significantly lighter after. 

He casts his gaze elsewhere and it lands on the kids and his sister. They’re near Yamamoto-san and appear to be helping him plate the sushi. Or well, Futa and I-Pin are helping, Lambo is eating them more than he is helping, and Yamamoto-san has sectioned off a separate area for all the sushi Bianchi has touched so far. It’s an impressive feat to keep them so task oriented and focused, and it really only adds to his grudging respect for the man—not that he would ever admit that of course. 

He means to focus on turf-top, who’s been steadily unwinding and rebandaging his hands, when a quiet hiss attracts his attention. Turning a confused look towards the source, he’s immediately confronted with Tsuna and a decent amount of blood.

“Tenth! What happened! Are you ok?” 

“Ouch, ouch, ouch! I cwuh mah fwinger!” 

Tsuna’s response is garbled—as he’s shoved the cut finger into his mouth to stop the bleeding. He garbles something else but Gokudera’s already out of his seat and heading towards the kitchen to grab a towel. He barely rounds the corner before running straight into Yamamoto. 

The crash sends him stumbling back and he offhandedly realizes he’s falling—probably ass first onto the hardwood flooring below—when warm hands encircle his arm and yank forward. He once again finds himself crashing into Yamamoto. Which is definitely funny for some reason or another, but he’s at least on his feet and stable, which is the good part; the bad part is that he’s basically all but pressed flush against Yamamoto. He can actually feel the idiot’s warm breath on his face, which smells faintly like the green tea he’d been drinking, and the natural scent he just gives off—which if pressed, Gokudera would admit to the word “fresh” as the best descriptor.

In short—they’re way too close to one another. Which, yikes for countless reasons—the most obvious being the whole flower issue, the second would be the simple fact that he’s a teenage boy and really, that should explain everything, and third is that Gokudera can’t really decide what would be worse—throwing up flowers or getting a boner. 

“Alright already! Lemme go, baseball for brains.” Gokudera’s able to wrench his arm from the surprisingly tight grip Yamamoto has on him and takes a step back. 

“Thanks for uhh, catching me there and shit. I mean, you wouldn’t have had to catch me in the first place if you were looking where you were going, but whatever—” 

Gokudera’s pretty sure he’s rambling, why the hell is the baseball idiot letting him ramble? C’mon Yamamoto, say something stupid like usual and help a guy out here. 

“Uhhh, no problem! Catching is important to baseball after all, so it’s good that I caught you and stuff...”

He trails off awkwardly and Gokudera can actually see the wince Yamamoto makes after finishing that statement. And Gokudera knows he asked for stupid—his expectations were already abysmally low—but this response surpasses stupid and goes straight to just horrible. It’s not even a funny kind of horrible—just a plain kind of horrible. Yet Gokudera can feel his mouth twitching and he has to actually cover his mouth to prevent himself from doing something stupid like laugh. 

“That was horrible, like literally so bad. I can’t believe you just uttered the words ‘Catching is important to baseball,’ like no shit. Oh my god.” 

Shit. He is kinda laughing. It’s embarrassing how his shoulders are shaking in suppressed laughter, but it’s just so stupid—so Yamamoto—that he can’t help it. When he finally does regain some semblance of composure—which takes longer than it should, but in fairness he’s had a long day—Yamamoto is still just standing there with his normal grin. 

It’s actually better than his normal grin, because this one is reserved for the Family—all bright teeth and fond eyes and tilted head—and he’s off topic. Whatever. The idiot’s smile is attractive, anyone would tell you that. It’s one of the top ranked reasons Yamamoto is confessed to as often as he is—according to Futa, anyways. 

Yamamoto finally stops grinning like an idiot, but he still looks unbearably fond—which is such a gross expression and word that Gokudera mentally vows to remove the dumb word from his vernacular. The idiot then passes a hand through his already disastrous hair (number 3 on Futa’s ranking of “Yamamoto-Nii’s Most Attractive Traits”) and suddenly blurts out, 

“You should laugh more, Gokudera. You look really nice when you do!” 

“What? I don’t look nice the rest of the time, bastard?” Gokudera crosses his arms just for the added effect. 

“Language.” Yamamoto automatically corrects. 

Gokudera sneers at him just because he can, but Yamamoto ignores it and continues on. 

“You always look nice, or well, I guess good looking would be a better description. I can’t exactly in good conscience put you and nice in the same sentence—it would give people the wrong idea.” 

Gokudera ignores the slight thrill he gets at being called good looking and instead gives an amused snort and raises an eyebrow, “And what idea would that be?” 

Yamamoto’s grin is back full force again when he answers, “That you’re not as much of an asshole as you appear to be. Which is just factually untrue, because not only are you an asshole—but you’re way worse than you let on.” 

Gokudera can feel a smirk pull at his lips, “Language,” he waits a beat, “bastard.” 

It gets a laugh out of the idiot like he expected. Then they’re back to square one of standing almost too close and Yamamoto just smiling. 

Yamamoto finally clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, “I uh, should probably go clean the glass before someone hurts themself.” 

“Shit! The Tenth already cut himself!” 

God, he’s the worst right-hand man imaginable. 

“Shit, really? Don’t worry, Gokudera, I’m sure he’s fine! You go grab a wet cloth and I’ll go start on the glass and check on him, ok?” 

The best Gokudera gives is a muted nod, it’s more perfunctory than it is acknowledgement—but it’s enough for Yamamoto. 

Before Yamamoto exits the kitchen, he briefly rests a hand on his shoulder. It’s meant to be comforting, supposed to come off as supportive—but it feels suffocating. Once again he’s failed the Tenth. Failed at the simplest of tasks, and for what? A boy he has feelings for? It’s pathetic. He’s pathetic. 

He’s standing there for a few more minutes absolutely drowning in self deprecation, when someone kicks the back of his knee and almost sends him sprawling forward. Regaining his balance, _again_ , he pivots on whoever decided to take that cheap shot. 

Unsurprisingly, it’s Haru. 

“What the hell, you stupid woman! What was that for?” He sounds appropriately angry for almost being tripped, but Haru doesn’t even bat an eyelash. 

“Yamamoto said you were beating yourself up in the kitchen for something you didn’t do—again. Sooooo, me being my fantastic and amazing self, I decided to come and snap you out of it! Haru’s just the greatest, right?” 

She finishes her sentence with an exaggerated twirl, as if extra unnecessary movement would help her case whatsoever. 

He stares blankly at her before moving to get the long overdue wet rag. 

He can see her visibly pout out of the corner of his eye before she bursts out with, “You never answered my question!” 

“I don’t need to answer shit. Especially, when you ask stupid questions like that.” 

“I don’t ask stupid questions, Stupidera!” 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

He snatches one of the extra kitchen towels with more force than necessary and begins to wet it. The cool water soaks into the fabric quickly and then continues to spill over into the drain as he kind of just stands there. He’s absolutely exhausted, he realizes. The entire day has been a rollercoaster of emotions and fucking nonsense that makes him want to do nothing more than curl up and not move for ten years. 

“Uhhhh ‘Dera, I think you’ve successfully drowned the towel. Why don’t you wring it out and bring it to Tsuna?” 

Haru’s standing a little less than a meter behind him when she says this, but he’s still too zoned out to really comprehend it. The best he manages is turning off the water and letting the towel fall to the bottom with a wet slap. It remains there when he turns to face her and he wants to say something to her—has to say something to her—but all he chokes out is a pathetic sounding, “Is Tsuna ok?” 

Haru takes a tentative step forward and twists her lips into a displeased pout before nodding. 

“He’s fine. He tried telling you it wasn’t anything to worry over, but you were already out the door. So Yamamoto-san got the first aid kit and gave him a bandage and now he’s good as new!” 

Gokudera laughs humorlessly, “So I freaked out over nothing and promised to get him something he didn’t even need and then failed to even bring it. That seems about right.” 

He curls his fingers into the palms of his hands, blunt nails digging in. It doesn’t leave more than faint crescent outlines that’ll fade in fleeting seconds, yet it grounds him long enough to fully catch Haru’s stare. 

Haru’s eyes widen briefly at the direct contact before she narrows them and squares her shoulders, “Are you done?” 

“Am I done?” He parrots back at her. 

“Yes. Are you done throwing yourself your little pity party? Because we’ve got things to do. We’ve got a meeting to get to,” Haru holds up a single finger to illustrate her point, another finger joining the first as she moves on with her list, “a paper to write—and you better have brought that special on the Namahage or so help me, and a certain Rain Guardian to woo in less than three months.” She waves the three fingers she’s holding up in his face so he can really get the message and then continues on with her chatter, “So just tonight alone we have three super duper important things to start on and so little time; so let’s get out there and handle things like we always have—together.” 

“Ok firstly,” he holds up a finger in imitation, “keep your hands away from my face.” He raises a second finger, “Secondly, this entire night has been a disaster of epic proportions that I would simply like to forget ever happened, but oh wait, I can’t, because thirdly and finally, the entire Family now knows I’m hopelessly in love with someone and has decided to personally invest themselves into my love life! Now that wouldn’t be a problem if my so-called unrequited love wasn’t literally in the Family and now personally invested. Like, personally, personally invested, Haru. He actually promised to do whatever it takes to help me out! Who does that?” He shakes his head in disbelief, “So no, I’m not done with my little pity party because I’m completely fucked.” He waits a moment—needs the dramatic pause —“Oh! And there’s some new bad guys with super dangerous guns trying to kill us, so that’s fun!” 

“Are you done?” Haru asks again, jutting out a hip and crossing her arms. She looks like every stern school teacher he’s ever had. 

He pointedly ignores her question, “You look like an annoyed hag when you stand like that.” He nods to her stance, “If you didn’t know.” 

“Thanks, stupid. Now will you get your butt back in the dining room so we can get this started?” 

He gives her a grumbled response as an answer, but it must be good enough because she’s heading towards the door, beckoning him to follow with a loose wave of her hand. 

“C’mon, follow Haru-san! She’ll guide you safely back into the lion’s den.” 

“A bit excessive, but alright, you weirdo. Just lemme grab the stupid towel and wring it out.” 

It takes an embarrassing amount of time to fully wring the towel out, long enough that Haru begins to snicker and his cheeks gain a light flush. 

“Shut up.” It lacks his normal heat and Haru knows that.

“I didn’t say anything~” she sings. 

“Whatever, let’s get this over with, and you better keep your mouth shut on the shit I said in here or I’ll blow up all your stupid costumes.” 

“Oh please, Haru knows you better than that. You like my costumes way too much to ever do that; but also don’t worry! Haru’s got your back! Nothing in here will be mentioned until we get back to your place later.” 

“No way. The minute this thing ends I’m heading back to my apartment—alone. You are not tagging along and we are not discussing this any further.” 

Haru tilts her head at him and puts a hand behind her ears as if she’s trying to hear something, “Oh what was that Tsuna-san? You’re worried about Gokudera? Oh don’t worry, he’s fine, he’s just trying to get Yamamoto to like him back. Oh, you didn’t know Gokudera liked Yamamoto-kun? Oh, then let me fill you in on _everything_ I know.” 

They lock eyes, green versus brown trying to out glare the other. Green looks away first. 

“I want you to know that you are literally the worst person in existence.” 

“Quite the high praise coming from someone like you.” 

“I’m going to blow up everything you care for.” 

“Hahi! Have fun blowing up everyone in the Family, including yourself!” 

He scoffs, “It’s not like I don’t have experience in destroying families or myself already.” He gestures towards himself, “Bastard child with self destructive tendencies here, if you forgot.” 

Haru rolls her eyes and literally begins to drag him out of the kitchen. 

“Tone it down, drama queen. Now go bother Tsuna and Yamamoto while Haru gets back to eating her food. I’m a growing girl, you know?” 

“Your head, you mean? Then for sure.” 

She turns her head and briefly sticks her tongue out, and then they’re back in the dining area. 

Everyone is almost exactly where they had been prior to Gokudera leaving—the only exceptions being Haru, himself, and Reborn. 

“Oh! Gokudera, there you are! I was wondering what was taking so long.” 

Gokudera can hear Tsuna, but can’t exactly see him. Reborn’s tall figure blocking his view. He must’ve moved near Tsuna when he cut himself.

“Yeah, sorry about that, Tenth. I got distracted by something and then this broad decided to hold me hostage.” 

“Hahi! You watch your mouth! I’m the very definition of classy women and should be treated as such. Right Tsuna-san?” Haru bats her eyes at him. 

“Uhhh, sure Haru! Now, uh, how about we all sit down and get the meeting started?” 

“That was weak Loser-Tsuna, now say it again like you mean it or I’ll shoot you.” 

“Reborn! Will you knock it off!” 

Leon hops down and transforms instantly, the safety clicking off and causing Tsuna to flinch and hastily blurt out, “Let’s sit down and start the meeting! Yep, we’re starting! The meeting is happening right now!” 

“Better.” Reborn says, Leon transforming back and returning to his perch. 

Gokudera takes his seat and lays the wet towel down, but not before Haru kicks him one last time for good measure. 

“Stupid woman.” He grumbles under his breath, but Haru’s already too far to hear it—she’s back in her seat between Chrome and Kyoko. 

Tsuna stands and walks to the front of the room and nervously clears his throat, “Hey guys! So thanks for coming to the meeting, and thanks Yamamoto-san for having us here again.” 

“Haha! No problem!” Yamamoto-san calls out. 

“So um, we’ve got new enemies with crazy guns and uh—” Tsuna trails off before coming to a complete stop. 

“Tsuna?” Yamamoto questions, leaning forward from his relaxed slouch. 

“Tenth, you ok?” Gokudera asks.

They all watch as Tsuna screws his eyes shut and clenches his fists. 

“I’m sorry. This isn’t what I wanted at all. Everything’s been so calm and quiet and I thought—I thought it would stay like that. I really wanted our last year of high school to be easy and fun and spent together. Now there’s new bad guys—guys all the way from Russia—that are here to do....” Tsuna throws his hands up in frustration, “do something? I don’t even know why they’re here.” Tsuna takes a deep breath and Gokudera knows the room’s eyes are locked on him, it’s impossible to not fixate entirely on Tsuna when he’s like this. 

“But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that whatever they want, whatever they’re here to do—they don’t accomplish it. Because in the end, the most important thing is that we stay together and we stay safe. That’s why I, with help from Reborn, have decided that until we get rid of these guys, everyone, and I mean everyone, is going to pair up into groups or pairs. Onii-san and Gokudera were lucky to be together when they were attacked, and I mean, we all saw the power of that one gun—it’s a strong weapon and who knows what would have happened had they not been together and then found Chrome. Now this isn’t because I don’t think you guys aren’t individually strong!” 

Tsuna waves his arms frantically in front of him as if to dispel any doubt on their strength. “All of you are really, really, almost freakishly strong. It’s really because I couldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to any one of you. You guys are my best friends, my family in more ways than the Mafia’s definition of Family could ever be. That’s why I need you to be safe. That’s why we’re going to beat these guys no matter what and finish our last year of school _together_. So uh, after Reborn fills everyone in on what we know so far, we’ll need to talk about possible groups and pairs and stuff...so yeah. Ok Reborn, your turn” 

Tsuna flushes a pale red and promptly returns to his seat, only to be startled when Turf-top abruptly stands up, almost sends his chair crashing, and starts clapping wildly. 

“Idiot! Sit down!” Hana hisses at him. 

“Sawada! That was an Extremely manly speech and I’m totally moved! I Extremely support you in whatever you decide to do and appreciate your acknowledgement of my Extreme strength!” 

Hana facepalms—she’s been trying to get the idiot to be more open and honest about his feelings and it’s worked, occasionally, just never when it would really benefit her. 

“Thank you, Onii-san. I uh, appreciate it.” 

Tsuna tries to hide his amused grin but fails when Yamamoto starts cackling, effectively ending the serious tone that had been building ever since the start of Tsuna’s speech. The whole room is then a mixture of laughter, amused grins, and fond (what a stupid word) eye rolls. Even Reborn has the slightest hint of a smirk pulling at his lips. 

“Alright, alright. Focus here.” 

Reborn garners the attention of the room quickly, amusement finally tampering down. He pushes off the side of the table he’d been resting on and moves toward the front of the room where Tsuna had been standing moments ago. 

“Like Loser-Tsuna said, new enemies have arrived in town. They speak Russian, so our natural assumption is that they’re part of the Bratva—the Russian mafia. The Boss of them is still an unknown player at this time, but we do know the second-in-command is a man named Artem, according to Gokudera. Why they’re here is currently unclear, but we do know that they’re after the Guardians, presumably after the whole Family. Now, due to Gokudera and Ryohei’s altercation with them, we’ve learned that they know at least both their names and probably know the rest of yours too; we also know that they’ve brought with them a very dangerous weapon, this gun to be exact.” Reborn flashes the weapon briefly, black and crimson standing out starkly before starting to speak again. 

“From our experiments and unintended accidents, we’ve learned a few important facts about this weapon. One, it lacks bullets. That means that each time this gun was fired, it was firing using another form of ammunition other than bullets. This fact is important because it leads us into the second fact—the intention behind the shot. This is something Gokudera realized early on, the differing shots. What that means is that each shot fired—either by the same person or someone else, differed in intensity. How that is possible is still unknown, but I can safely establish that whenever the gun is fired, it depends on the individual and what their intent is.” Reborn pauses briefly before continuing, 

This is why when the three of us—Tsuna, Yamamoto, and myself included, were firing at the dummies, and eventually at Gokudera, our shots differed so much. As a hitman my intent was to eliminate my target, as evidenced by its total destruction. Yamamoto was more interested in the gun than the target, leaving it singed and damaged. Tsuna, who was aiming at Gokudera at the time and had no interest in doing any actual harm to him, scaled his shot back drastically and resulted in Gokudera getting nothing more than a slight reverberation. These three examples were all about intent, which brings us right back to fact one, the lack of bullets.” 

Reborn stops in his explanation and allows the room to process everything. Everyone seems to be concentrating, trying to piece the entire story together, and for the most part they seem to be ok, all coming to terms with what’s happened in the last three hours. However, Gokudera has a sinking feeling in his stomach, it feels vaguely like something else is about to drop, something worse is about to be said. Tsuna is fidgeting too, his hyper intuition or simply his knowledge of how things usually go making him nervous. 

“The lack of bullets is the most troubling aspect, and it brings me to suspect what really powers the gun, dying will flames.” The sharp intake of breath among the room is not surprising, if what Reborn is saying is true then it means—

“I think this gun is one of the very first box weapons, a very primitive version at least. However, I think this particular gun would be closer to a storage box than a fully fledged box weapon, but it’s principles are the same. Instead of unlocking the box through the use of flames and using the weapon inside, this gun takes the dying will flames directly and compacts it into shots, thus making the shots dependent on the user and their flames. This is why all of us heard a distinctive whirring sound, almost as if the gun was taking something in, which if this theory proves true, was. Now, if we assume the gun does rely on dying will flames, then I fortunately have some good news. The problem of weapons taking directly from the dying will is that it drains the user at an exorbitant rate, as unlike the box weapon, which is fed a single flame and kept alive by your flame production, this gun drains your flame with each use. This means it has a limited amount of shots before the user is unable to produce any more flames and is most likely left unconscious. The downside, however, is that each shot will be extremely powerful if the intent behind it wills it to be.” 

“So basically we’re still in a lot of danger, but we have a pretty good chance at beating these guys if we just keep avoiding the shots?” It’s Yamamoto who posits this question, his posture relaxed but eyes deceptively sharp. 

“Pretty much.” Is Reborn’s short summarization before he continues speaking. 

“There’s still too many unknowns to be certain on everything I said, but that’s the likeliest scenario. I still have to do more research into how these guys got their hands on weapons such as these, and where they obtained their rings from.” 

Reborn opens his mouth to continue, but Gokudera cuts him off. 

“There weren’t any rings though, I checked. Artem’s hands were bare when he fired each shot.” It’s all Gokudera can offer at the moment, his memory of the fight still vivid enough to remember this odd detail.

Reborn makes a speculative hum. 

“That raises quite a few more questions, but I’ll make sure to include that detail when I send an inquiry to the Ninth and the External Advisors.” 

“Wait, you’re going to involve the Ninth and my dad? Reborn, is that really necessary?” 

Tsuna sounds upset at the thought, but whether he’s upset at the involvement of the Ninth, his dad, or both—Gokudera can’t be sure of. 

“We need all the resources and help we can get, Tsuna. They won’t need to come here, only to gather intel and relay it. The total interaction will be minimal at best.” 

“Okay….” Tsuna doesn’t sound entirely convinced, but seems like he won’t pursue it at the moment. 

Reborn stares at him, brown eyes indecipherable, before nodding. 

“I don’t believe I have anything else to share at the moment, but once I learn more, I’ll inform the Family and make the proper arrangements. Be warned though, that following this meeting I will be increasing training sessions and focusing on team-ups among the different Guardians. Though for right now, we’ll focus on establishing groups and decide on the best way to go about securing everyone’s safety.” Reborn stops speaking briefly before adding on, “Does anyone have any questions?”

The resounding silence answers him. He flashes a smirk and pulls down his fedora, shielding his eyes as he leans against the front wall. 

“Your turn, No-Good Tsuna.” 

“You know, you don’t have to call me that. You can just say, Tsuna. It’s really not that difficult.” Reborn waves a dismissive hand and the Tenth blows out an exasperated sigh but stands up nonetheless. Tsuna doesn’t return to the front of the room where Reborn is, but remains standing between Gokudera and Yamamoto. 

“Fine, be like that. Anyways—I uh, still stand by what I said before. I really want everyone to pair or group up. It’s the safest course of action until we know more about who and what we’re dealing with. I haven’t settled on groups or pairs, but I have some rough ideas and would appreciate any input. To accomplish what I want, what I think is best, requires some people to make big adjustments and sacrifices to really make this work—so please just hear me out?” 

Tsuna is the Boss, someone Gokudera would follow through hell and high water, so he’s an immediate yes to whatever the Tenth is about to say—but even he gets a bit nervous when the Tenth employs the dreaded “Imploring Look.” It’s like something takes over him—his normal brown eyes soften, his bottom lip juts out slightly, and his eyebrows pinch together to form the Look that is simply unfair in its effectiveness. Reborn has tried to ban it in the past, but was denied on the account of it being “too cute!” according to Haru and “a really amusing face Tsuna-kun makes!” according to Kyoko. So now Tsuna utilizes it with an almost evil glee. It’s effectiveness has yet to be challenged, which is really saying something due to the fact that the last time Tsuna used it, it was on Xanxus and half the Varia, which is still completely mind boggling if he thinks about it for too long. Gokudera distantly notes Tsuna has started to speak again and immediately focuses in. 

“So when I said I don’t want anyone alone, I mean it. We’ve been relatively lucky over the past years when it comes to fighting. In almost every fight or conflict or whatever we had, we were usually already together—be it fighting the Varia, thrown ten years into the future, or in our fight against Daemon Spade. We overcame all of those experiences together, and I don’t intend that to change.” Tsuna takes a break from speaking to give the room a meaningful look, his entire countenance expressing how serious he is. “However, I do get that all of us being together at this current moment is a challenge—some of us are already graduated, some are captains of sports teams or are involved in sports, some of us are romantically involved with people, and some of us just simply don’t have the time or means to be with us at every moment. I get that—that’s why we need to figure this out together so everyone can stay safe.” 

“I think that’s a great idea, Tenth! Power in numbers is a fantastic strategy.” Gokudera has a responsibility to bolster any suggestion the Tenth proposes, and this is no exception. 

“I’m so glad you agree, Gokudera! You have a pretty important role in what I have planned—if you’re ok with that?”

Gokudera visibly straightens his posture, “Of course I am, Boss! You can count on me!” 

Tsuna nods and hums in agreement, “Ok, good! I really want you and Yamamoto to help me out in protecting everyone. That’s why I want to pair you two up and have you coordinate groups and training—I think with your schedules being what they are—Yamamoto with baseball, and you being on the kyūdō team, and with how close your homes are, it would make the most sense.” 

There are blaring sirens going off in his head right now, as well as a flashing red sign that reads DANGER. 

“Wait, Tenth—I don’t know if that’s the best way to uhh, protect everyone? I mean, the Baseball idiot and I are pretty strong, so wouldn't it be best for us to pair up with non-combatant members? Like who’s going to make sure Haru gets to Midori without some enemy popping up and taking her out?” 

“Hahi! I resent that, Stupidera! Haru can totally take care of herself! Plus, Chrome-chan and I already decided that we would pair up and walk to my school together. Better yet, we also decided that it would be easier for Chrome-chan to come live with me until this whole thing blows over.” 

“Wait, really? That’s a great idea you two!” Tsuna seems excited by the progression and acceptance of his “Pair Up the Family Plan.” 

“You think so, Boss? With Ken and Chikusa in Italy at the moment, it’s really no problem for me to walk Haru to school. Though is it really ok for me to stay with you, Haru?” Chrome tilts her head at Haru when she asks this and Gokudera is seconds away from crossing his fingers and praying that Haru changes her mind and says no when she brightly responds with—

“Of course! My parents are usually busy at work anyways and will barely notice you’re there! However, be warned though, my mom will make you participate in family dinners and my dad will give you crazy math problems to try and solve, but if you get it right, you get extra dessert!” 

Chrome gives her a small smile, “That sounds really nice, Haru-chan.” 

“Yo dad! Why don’t you ask me math problems at dinner?” It’s the Baseball idiot that calls that out, leaning back in his chair and obviously trying to get a few laughs out of the room and succeeding. Gokudera rolls his eyes just as Yamamoto-san barks out a laugh. 

“Takeshi, that requires you to actually listen to your teacher and focus—and we both know those aren’t exactly your strong suits.” 

“Hey, hey! That’s mean!” Yamamoto laughs the entire time he says it. 

“Mean, maybe. The truth? Absolutely. I swear, the only reason you’ve gotten this far in school is due to Gokudera-kun tutoring you.” The minute Yamamoto-san finishes his statement, his face takes on a speculative look, but Gokudera’s attention is already elsewhere. 

“That’s not—” Yamamoto starts to refute. 

“That’s completely true.” It’s out of his mouth before he can stop it. 

“Is not! I finished that calculus worksheet all by myself!” Yamamoto retorts, leaning towards him in the empty space left by Tsuna—who’s now near the front of the room talking to Reborn.

“Tch, only because I re-taught you the entire lesson beforehand!” 

“Hmmmm, so?” The idiot drawls. 

“So.” Gokudera parrots, eyes narrowing. 

“Ok, fine, have fun paying attention to and learning the entire lesson by yourself next time.” He crosses his arms to show just how serious he is. 

“Ok wait—” Yamamoto starts, but is interrupted by Ryohei’s abrupt question. 

“Wait an Extreme minute. Who’s going to grab Chrome when she finishes dropping Haru off?” There’s a couple beats of silence simply due to the fact that Ryohei is the one to get the meeting back on track. Which is really just….weird, Gokudera decides. 

“That’s a good question, Onii-chan!” It’s Kyoko who finally pipes up. 

“Maybe we grab her on our way to school when you drop us off?” Kyoko asks. 

“I mean, we could, but that would require us to walk past Namimori high and then double back. Totally possible, but it would make more sense for Sawada or Squid-head or even Yamamoto to grab her.” Ryohei responds. 

“So I’m assuming Ryohei, Kyoko, and Hana will be the next group that’s already been decided?” Reborn interjects, casting a glance at Tsuna. 

“For sure! I’m not letting anything happen to Kyoko or Hana on my watch! That sounds good to you, right Sawada?” 

Tsuna gives a slight start at being addressed so suddenly, but nods his head in agreement. 

“I think that’s really smart, Nii-san. I’ll leave them to you then.” 

Hana scoffs at Tsuna’s response, but Gokudera can’t call her out on it due to Ryohei jumping back into his explanation. 

“Kyoko and I can walk to Hana’s house and then head straight for school, and then I Extremely plan to get Hibari to patrol Namimori with me while looking for these guys.” 

“Do you really think that’s safe though?” Hana asks, eyebrow raised. 

“Of course! I’ll fight to the Extreme like always and I’ll have Hibari.” The idiot nods like fighting and Hibari will be enough to deal with anything they encounter—which is probably fair, Gokudera reluctantly realizes. 

“I’m sure Takeshi and Gokudera can grab her on their way to school. Right, Takeshi?” Yamamoto-san asks. 

“Sure thing, Pops! I’ll swing by Gokudera’s place in the morning and then we’ll grab her.” Yamamoto is all easy acceptance and easy smiles—like walking a few extra minutes and waking up even earlier is nothing to him. 

“I’m so glad I have a say in this.” Gokudera mutters underneath his breath. 

“It’ll be fine, ‘Dera! It’ll be no different than us meeting up everyday to go to Tsuna’s and then to school like we normally do, but this time we just also get to grab Chrome-chan.” The idiot flashes a grin towards Chrome who offers a small yet bright smile in return. 

“That’s not the issue, Baseball for Brains. It would just make more sense for me to walk to your house and meet you here, then for you to walk to mine and then double back towards school. It’s only logical.” 

Gokudera has just resigned himself to further suffering at this point—with Tsuna wanting him and Yamamoto to pair up and all of the other groups naturally forming, there’s really no point in drawing the inevitable out any further. 

“That would work! That way you two can get to Chrome and school quicker.” Tsuna seems happy that he’s not fighting the plan any further, and Gokudera genuinely expects the conversation to just move on. 

“Wait, Tsuna, I don’t think that’s the best way to do this. I mean, Gokudera was already attacked—why not try it again? These guys now know more or less how he fights, and on top of that, they’ll probably target him for being your right hand man and for also being the one who took their gun. So it’s really no issue for me to just wake up earlier and then head over to make sure he’s safe.” 

“I mean, that’s also fine? As long—” Tsuna begins to talk, but Gokudera interrupts. 

“What the hell? Why wouldn’t I be safe? Do you seriously think I can’t walk ten minutes without getting attacked? Better yet, do you really think I can’t handle some guys with guns on my own?” Gokudera’s eyes are narrowed dangerously—as if daring Yamamoto to argue. 

“Of course I don’t think that! I just think that if they were willing to attack you once—be it spur of the moment or premeditated—they’re more willing to attack you again. That’s why it’s better if I just meet you at your house and we walk together—we’re better together than we are separate.” Yamamoto seems so unbearably earnest in his belief of teamwork that it actually disturbs something in his chest. His breath catches on his inhale and he really hopes the rattling sound he hears is only audible to him. 

“I still think it’s ridiculous. Ten minutes is still ten minutes of opportunity for the Bratva to attack—whether they attack you or me just depends on what we decide here today. So, having said that—as someone who’s already fought them and has that experience, I’ll just walk to your house and then we walk to get Chrome. If I don’t get to your house within those ten minutes, then yeah, I’m probably being attacked and could use the assistance. So there, end of discussion.” Gokudera spreads his hands out in a “there you go” kind of manner before crossing them. 

The room is quiet for the briefest of moments before the idiot, the absolute worst person alive, Yamamoto Takeshi, goes, “No way! You can’t be serious—”

“I am serious, so—” Gokudera overlaps briefly before both of them get drowned out by the loud call of—

“Enough! Jeeeez you two sure are a handful, aren’t you?” Yamamoto-san asks. 

He’s left his station near the kids and has come over to stand more or less directly in front of them. The table being the only thing separating them. 

“Pops! Sorry, I just—” Yamamoto starts. 

“Relax, Takeshi. I get it. You two are both ridiculously strong headed and concerned about one another.” He offers a bright grin and a hearty chuckle to his son before turning to face Gokudera more, “I’m glad you care so much about my son, Gokudera-kun. You’re a good friend to him and your concern for him makes this old man know he’s in good hands.” Yamamoto-san opens his mouth to say something more, but Yamamoto is standing now and obviously trying to get him to stop. 

“Dad, seriously! I appreciate your willingness to help, but I think we have it covered. So you can stop!” 

“What are you talking about, Takeshi? I’ve barely even said anything! Don’t worry though, because I’ve thought of the perfect solution to fix your problem. Well, I didn’t actually think of it myself, more like borrowed from Haru-kun, but it’s all the same.”

Gokudera has a horrible, horrible, horrible feeling about this. 

“Umm, Yamamoto-san? What exactly is your solution?” Tsuna ventures. 

“Easy! Gokudera-kun can just stay here for the time being until the Bratva guys are dealt with. That way he and Takeshi can just head out together and get Chrome-chan without arguing every time, and I could also use another pair of hands at the restaurant, and what better labor is free labor, right?” The last part is called over his shoulder, the man already leaving to return to his table. 

“There really isn’t any better labor than free labor, Yamamoto-san. I think your suggestion is perfect and solves more problems than I can think of.” Reborn nods with a certain decisiveness.

“Ok, so Yamamoto and Gokudera will be together until we defeat the Bratva, so will Haru and Chrome, as well as Ryohei, Kyoko, and Hana. The only pieces left to consider are the kids and Bianchi—but I doubt that will be an issue.” 

“Of course, Reborn. I have no issue looking after the kids and Mama when you and Tsuna are out.” Bianchi drawls from her table, the sushi around her emanating worrying smells and strange bubbles. 

“I-Pin can fight too! Protect Bianchi, Futa, and Lambo!” I-Pin chimes in. 

“Lambo-san will defeat all the bad guys!” 

“Then it’s decided. The groups have been formed and we’ll soon delve into patrols and training once everyone shares their schedules. I think for the most part that wraps this meeting up—if anyone has questions, direct them towards Tsuna. Ciaossu.” Reborn dips his fedora forward and moves to leave—but not before pushing Tsuna forward to field any questions or complaints the hitman was sure to receive. 

“Uhhhhhh” Tsuna stammers before being swarmed by most of the Family. Gokudera needs to talk to him still, but not as much as he needs to talk to Yamamoto-san, which seems like a shared sentiment going off Yamamoto’s beeline towards his father.

“Dad! Are you really sure it’s ok for Gokudera to stay here?” 

“You idiot, that’s not—I mean, Yamamoto-san, that’s really kind of you to offer, but I don’t want to intrude. I’m more than capable of staying at my own place.” 

“Of course it’s ok for him to stay here! And please, Gokudera-kun, you wouldn’t intrude at all! I’d actually feel better if you stayed here for the time being, rather than being by yourself. Blame it on paternal concern.” The man seems to have the exact same inability to read between the lines like his son, or maybe, he chooses to simply ignore it. 

“Haha! That’s great then! Thanks, dad!” Yamamoto answers brightly. He genuinely seems happy about the arrangement, so Gokudera has to resort to nitpicking to hopefully turn him against the idea. 

“Yamamoto. You do understand that me staying here means sleeping in your room, right? Like, living with you in your house? Every minute and hour will basically be spent in one another’s company? From the minute we wake up to us going to bed? Other than our respective after school clubs we will see each other nonstop, can you really handle that?” 

The more Gokudera talks about their proposed situation, the more dread he begins to feel. If he stays here—there’s no way Yamamoto won’t learn about his feelings. 

“Of course I get it. That’s why I asked my dad if he was sure! This way will make protecting everyone that much easier, and plus, it’ll just be like that time when we roomed together in the future—just hopefully with less craziness. It’ll be a blast! You can help me out in the shop and!” Yamamoto turns to him with even more energy, “I can help you get your crush to like you back even easier this way! It’s the perfect solution!” 

“Right. That’s great.” Gokudera deadpans back. 

“It’ll be the best! Now let’s go save Tsuna and get everyone started on their way home.” Yamamoto throws an arm over his shoulder and steers him towards an overwhelmed Tsuna. 

“Alright! Back away from the Tenth! Let the guy breathe!” Gokudera is still reeling from the entire exchange just then, but Tsuna’s the Boss and the Boss looks like he needs to sit down. 

“Yo! Everyone doing ok?” Yamamoto asks. 

“Of course! We girls are indomitable! Unflappable!” Haru crows. 

“That’s great! I’m glad you guys are doing well, can we do anything to help?” 

“Don’t lump me in with you, baseball idiot! I'm taking care of the Tenth right now.” 

“Now, now, I’m sure Tsuna is fine! We should probably figure out a rough idea of how everything should play out starting Monday.” 

“Yamamoto's right! Umm, well I’ll be walking to school with Reborn so I’m safe there, Bianchi will be with the kids, Nii-san will be with Kyoko and Hana, Haru with Chrome, and you and Gokudera are together, right? So if you two could grab Chrome in the morning, then the girls and I can grab Chrome at the end of the day and take her to Haru’s while you two finish your club activities. Oh! Could you also pick up Haru at Midori High, she has gymnastics after school and should finish around when you guys are done.” 

“Tsuna-san! You remembered I do gymnastics! You’re so sweet to be concerned about Haru-chan!” 

“That shouldn’t be an issue, Tenth! Also you stupid woman, it’s not like it’s hard to forget you do gymnastics when you talk about it so often!” 

“I don’t talk about it that often! Right Kyoko-chan?” Haru pouts at her. 

“Nope! You talk about it just enough, Haru-chan!” Kyoko answers. 

“See! Stupid Gokudera, always being so mean.” She continues to grumble. 

“That’s no issue, Tsuna! ‘Dera and I will stop over once we’re done!” Yamamoto cuts in.

“Ok great! I’m glad that’s settled. Well, I really don’t think there’s anything more for tonight, so let’s help Yamamoto-san clean up and thank him. We’ll just walk as a group and make sure everyone gets home then!” 

Tsuna gets various agreements before everyone scatters to clean and help. The only ones lingering behind are him and Yamamoto, the latter obviously itching to say something. 

“Hey ‘Dera, are you really ok with staying here? I know my dad and I kinda just steamrolled the entire plan, but if you’re really not comfortable staying here, I’m sure he’ll understand.” 

“Don’t be stupid. I don’t have a problem staying here, I just didn’t wanna impose. If you’re offering up your space and food then I’m not complaining, even if it means helping your dad out in the restaurant. It makes the most sense and is the safest option, so I don’t have a valid reason to say no.” 

He really doesn’t have a reason to say no, or well, doesn’t have a reason other than “every time I look at you I kinda wanna choke up flowers and profess my love” kinda reason. So he guesses learning to be around Yamamoto Takeshi nonstop will just be like a new challenge, a learning curve if you will. 

“That really makes me feel better then. I know we can both be really stubborn, but I’m glad we found some middle ground to agree on! So hey! Why don’t you send me a text tomorrow or something, and I’ll meet you at your house to grab your stuff? That would be ok, right?” Brown eyes stare directly at him, bright and hopeful and—ugh. 

“Yeah, I’ll send you a text. I better go help clean up so we can get out of here soon.” 

Yamamoto nods, “Sounds great! I’ll see you tomorrow then!” 

“Yeah….” he responds reluctantly. 

They part ways then, going to help and clean different areas and then before he knows it, the entire Family has cleaned up the place and is about to head out. They bid their thanks and departure, and then as a group begin to break up. 

First is Gokudera, who’s the closest, and although he doesn’t wanna leave the Tenth behind—he is glad to be home. 

“Tsuna-san! You go ahead! I’ll catch up to the group quickly, I just have to talk to Gokudera for a minute!” Haru calls. 

“Ok! But be quick!” Tsuna responds. 

“Hahi! So though I am a proper lady with a pristine image and heart, I say this with full sincerity and feeling—you’re completely screwed.” Haru deadpans the last part—a result from too much time spent with Gokudera and her own weird attitude. 

“Thanks, genius. I didn’t notice the first time Yamamoto-san told me to come stay with them or the second time when baseball brains confirmed it for me!” 

“What are you going to do?” She genuinely sounds concerned. 

“Probably suffer? Maybe blow myself up to avoid the whole thing?” Haru hits him. 

“Be serious!” She reprimands. 

“I am! I’ll definitely suffer for this, but I’m still doing it. It makes the most sense, unfortunately, and I’ll just have to learn how to deal and hide my feelings for however long the Bratva are here for. It’ll be….fine.” He ends with, after some deliberation. 

“Ok, I’m definitely heading over here sometime tomorrow. Because not only do we need to discuss this entire Hanahaki thing, but we also need to discuss you living with Yamamoto—the very guy you’re throwing flowers up for.” 

“You can’t head over here unless you have someone in the Family with you, remember?” 

“I know that! That’s why I asked Chrome-chan to accompany me! She said she’ll walk me here and then use her illusions to hide herself until she gets to Takesushi for lunch. Pretty smart, isn’t it?” Haru leans forward to emphasize her point. 

“Yeah, yeah, real Einsteins. Now get out of here so I can mope in peace.” 

“Fine! See ya tomorrow, ‘Dera! Please try to get some sleep, you look like you need it.” It’s the last thing he hears from her before she scurries off and he shuts the door. He slides down the door until he’s leaning against it—fatigue fully settling in. 

He hears a displeased meow from his belt and decides to finally let Uri out. Who takes one look at Gokudera and curls into his lap. 

“Even you can sense how fucked I am, huh?” 

When he receives nothing more than a warble, he huffs a silent laugh and decides to close his eyes for a moment. Just to rest, he reasons. Five minutes later, he’s asleep in his front entrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the absolutely lovely, robinyublind on tumblr, created these amazing! Absolutely fantastic, fan arts of my story. They’re a seriously talented artist and I honestly just stare at these sometime to marvel at them and get inspiration. So if you have the time, please check them out, you won’t regret it! The links to the art are below!
> 
> https://robinyublind.tumblr.com/post/617425873130356736/show-chapter-archive
> 
> https://robinyublind.tumblr.com/post/617339147270701056/some-haru-being-a-great-ally-for-princessofspite
> 
> https://robinyublind.tumblr.com/post/616970050223636480/princessofspite-thought-you-might-enjoy-some


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gokudera and Haru have a heart to heart that forces Gokudera to come to terms with his feelings, albeit very begrudgingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, sorry about that four month hiatus! School and life kinda got crazy and this got pushed to the back. However, things are about to calm down so I should be able to update more often now! I hope everyone enjoys and please read the notes at the bottom for a surprise!

Gokudera wakes abruptly, eyelids snapping open while his eyes try desperately to adjust to the darkness. His entire body is stiff and cold from having been in the same slumped position for—hours, he assumes. Deciding to confirm his guess, he attempts to unwedge his phone from where it’s been trapped—which is unfortunately between the floor and his entirely numb ass.

To even reach his phone, he has to do a complicated wiggle that not only hurts parts of his body he didn’t even know existed, but it displaces a sleeping Uri from his lap, causing the cat to lash out in confusion and retreat further into the apartment. So while Gokudera does have his phone, he also has a new scratch.

“Tch. Damn cat.” He mutters, hand stinging.

He unlocks his phone and sees that it’s 2:32 a.m. which is somehow earlier and later than he expected. When he pulls down his notifications, he’s surprised to see he has a few texts. The first being from his older sister, Bianchi—it’s short and direct and reads simply—

“ _Hayato. We need to talk_.”

He decides he really doesn’t have the energy for that right now and moves on. The second message is from Tsuna, which just reads—

“ _Hey Gokudera-kun! I hope you’re feeling ok? If you wouldn’t mind, could we meet up sometime tomorrow and talk? I feel like I’m missing some important parts about what happened tonight and could use your help!”_

Gokudera thinks about texting back, but he doesn’t want to disturb the Tenth this late, so he decides that later on would probably be best.

The last notification is from Yamamoto, which makes Gokudera hesitate.

It’s not that they don’t text. They do—a decent amount actually. The idiot will send him senseless stuff like random articles and pictures and even occasional memes, it’s mostly whenever he has the time or can’t sleep, and while Gokudera doesn’t always respond, he still tries more often than most would assume. He finally decides to click on the message and is bombarded with a decent amount of lines of text.

“ _Hey Gokudera! I just wanted to remind you to send me a text whenever you’re ready to head over and I’ll meet you—I’m sure this one time should be fine with us not being together.”_

_“Also! Bring whatever you want! Who knows how long this will last and I want you to be comfortable!”_

_“I mean, we can always stop back at your place if you forget anything, but uh….yeah! Just let me know!_ ”

Gokudera shuts his phone off, darkness engulfing him once more. He knocks his head back on the door once, then twice, and then thrice for good measure, before getting up. It fails to knock any sense into him, but the dull pain is at least grounding him in the moment and getting him to go into the kitchen.

Upon flipping the kitchen lights on, he’s greeted by Uri—who’s sitting expectantly on the kitchen table.

“Yeah, yeah, I see you. Lemme see what I got in the fridge.”

Uri gives a yowl but continues to wait patiently.

Gokudera rummages through his distressingly bare fridge before finding some leftover salmon he had cooked a day or two prior. Giving it a cursory sniff he deems it good enough and portions some into a bowl for Uri; the rest is then dumped onto a plate that he absentmindedly picks at. It gives him something to focus on and do, rather than just stand aimlessly in his kitchen.

When he finishes the remnants of his fish, he sets the plate into the sink and reaches over to pet Uri—who allows it for the briefest of moments before nipping him and jumping from the table.

“Ungrateful creature,” He grumbles, yet he still retrieves and puts away the bowl Uri had just finished eating from.

Gokudera then leans heavily against the table, exhaustion sticking to him like sweat drenched clothes. He should probably go get some proper sleep—or at least lay down, but he knows nothing would come from it except unwanted thoughts and impossible dreams. So he decides to at least attempt being productive. He goes to grab his bag from the front entrance—nothing really in it except a few pens, a couple sticks of dynamite, and—

“The stupid Namahage magazine.” He clicks his tongue and makes a mental note to give it to Haru when he sees her.

He then heads to the living room where he proceeds to shove whatever school related thing he thinks he’d need into the bag. When he finishes, he has a small collection of papers, folders, books, and notes that are more for the Tenth and the baseball idiot than they are for him, but as long as it gets them through classes and to graduation, he doesn’t really care.

He then moves throughout his apartment room-by-room, taking stock of what he should bring, what he should throw, and god only knows what else.

He ends up in his bedroom, bare walls and stark appearance revealing nothing more than a dresser, desk, and bookshelf. He empties his dresser drawer by drawer until he has a decent assortment of clothes and outfits folded on the floor, and then moves to gather his accessories. Bracelets, armbands, silver chains, crosses, and his rings are all placed securely atop the pile of clothes. After that, he doesn’t have much else to do except ensure he has his dynamite, Vongola belt buckle, and a few packs of cigarettes—not that he’ll be able to smoke them that much.

He checks his phone once more to see that the time now reads 4:13 a.m. and that his battery is at 23%. He plugs it in and sets an alarm for ten before setting it down on his nightstand, finally deciding that sleep should probably at least be attempted going off the day he’s had and the craziness that’s sure to come.

He briefly stretches before stripping out of his uniform—shirt, tie, pants—all being thrown over the back of his chair. Normally, he’d hang them up, try to keep them in decent condition no matter what his attitude or appearance may suggest, but they need a wash before school starts on Monday, so he’s not that concerned.

He’s left in nothing but his boxers, so he rummages through his clothes to find a well worn shirt and tugs it on. When he glances down it’s an old rock shirt Haru and Kyoko had got him, the white lettering spelling out Man With A Mission.

He finally flops into bed where Uri makes a disgruntled chirping sound before snuggling further into the sheets. He reaches down and gives Uri a few pets before situating himself and closing his eyes—he wants to say he falls asleep immediately, but that would be a gross exaggeration. He does sleep—in fits and moments, but it’s a restless sleep, the kind where you wake up feeling worse than you had before.

Ten o’clock is a decidedly hateful and bright hour when he finally wakes to it. He blindly feels for his phone and drags it closer, squinting to see the blurry words on his screen. Two messages—both from Haru—stare at him.

_“Hey ‘Dera! So I was thinking of heading your way around 11 so Chrome-chan can go get lunch at Takesushi._

_We’ll both be SUPER cautious so don’t worry your stupidera head. Hey! Maybe if I stick around long enough we can all take your stuff to Yamamoto’s! Wait, actually, that’s perfect! Chrome-chan can walk with Yamamoto back to your place after lunch and then all of us can go back to his place and get you situated!! Then Chrome-chan and I can go back to Haru’s place like the good samaritans we are! Haru’s so smart!! We can talk about it more once I get to your place!”_  
  
Gokudera wrinkles his nose at the too long text and the too bright screen and the fact that it’s already 10:30 and he needs to get dressed and probably eat something and—

 _Ugh_.

Is what he texts back to Haru, which she immediately responds to by disliking his comment.

He turns his phone off and lets it rest on his chest, content to just stare up at the white ceiling and simply exist for a moment. His moment is abruptly shattered when his phone starts shaking, letting him know someone’s calling and he answers it without even checking.

“What. Do you want?” He bites out.

He hears nothing but silence and is about to hang up when he hears a hesitant—“Gokudera-kun?”

He bolts up immediately, scaring Uri and causing him to hiss and run out of the room.

“Tenth! I didn’t know it was you! Please forgive my incredibly rude greeting, I would have never answered the phone like that had I known it was you!”

“It’s ok, Gokudera-kun! I assumed you didn’t know it was me! I mean, I thought maybe for a second you did know it was me and you were mad about everything that happened yesterday—because if you were angry, I would completely understand. You know, since I shot you and everything…” Tsuna trails off awkwardly, and Gokudera opens his mouth to deny everything, but Tsuna continues on.

“Anyway! Sorry to bother you so early—but I was wondering if I could come by your place later and talk to you? I feel really terrible about everything that’s happened and it seems like I’ve missed some major changes in the uhh, Family.” Tsuna still hesitates using the F word, but he’s getting there.

“Of course, Tenth! You’re welcome at my place anytime! The uh, the only thing is that Haru’s coming here around 11:00 with Chrome. Chrome’s not staying, but she’ll be back after she finishes lunch at TakeSushi—which knowing Yamamoto-san will probably take at least an hour—and then she’ll also definitely be followed by Yamamoto who was planning on coming over to grab my stuff anyways…So if you want to come around noon, or meet us at Yamamoto’s place—or we could go somewhere else entirely and leave all of the unwanted tag-alongs behind, that would work too! Whatever works best for you!” He enthuses.

“That’s really not necessary, Gokudera-kun! I’d be fine to come around noon, that way you and Haru can talk and then we can all help you get situated at Yamamoto’s!” Tsuna decides.

“Sounds great, Tenth! I’ll see you at noon!” Gokudera says before they part ways.

Then he’s left in his barren as fuck apartment with nothing to do except wait. It’s only 10:45 a.m. so he does have time before Haru and Chrome get here—but he still should make himself presentable.

So he drags himself out of bed and rifles through his neatly stacked piles of clothes until he finds something to wear. It’s his normal attire, nothing special, but if he adds an extra cross around his neck and his second favorite bracelet to his left wrist—well, only he and God will know his silent prayer for extra help today.

He then makes his way to the kitchen, where Uri is curled up on the table, back towards him, and ears on high alert.

“Sorry, Uri. Didn’t mean to scare you like that.” Gokudera tries his best to cajole Uri, knows it’s better to soothe the cat's irritation early on than let it simmer. He gets no response, so he goes straight to bribery.

“C’mon, forgive me. We’re going to the Baseball Idiot’s house for a while, so that means fish—and lots of it. However, you’ll only get that fish if you forgive me and we face the idiot and his dad together.”

Uri’s ears perk up, but then quickly flatten in an attempt to appear nonchalant. It’s such a sight that Gokudera can’t help the fond smile that pulls at his lips, he even indulges in letting it fit across his face. He gives Uri a head scratch for his effort which he allows briefly, before jumping down and strutting off, nose raised haughtily in the air.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re only doing it for the fish.”

Gokudera figures Uri should be fine now and starts searching for something edible-enough to eat. He finds a crushed packet of ramen that hasn’t expired yet, thinks about what time it is, and then moves to boil some water. He manages to have a bowl of ramen on his table by the time he hears his doorbell being buzzed. Messily slurping one more bite, he fumbles his way out of the chair and makes his way to the front door. He swipes the back of his wrist over his mouth once to make sure he looks like a functioning adult, and then opens the door a crack to make sure it’s Haru and Chrome. It’s fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on how the day goes, them standing there.

“Hey Gokudera! Chrome-chan and Haru have arrived! Isn’t it nice to see us so early on this lovely day?” Haru bats her eyelashes at him while Chrome gives a small smile.

“As nice as a bullet to the brain, you mean?” Gokudera snidely retorts, opening the door further.

Haru huffs at his word choice while a small grin grows on Chrome’s face.

“Gokudera-kun, don’t you think you’ve been shot enough this week?” Chrome slyly teases.

“Hahi! Chrome-chan went for the kill! How does it feel to be defeated so totally? Belphegor who? Gamma who?” Haru crows obnoxiously.

“Will you shut up already! And for the record, I totally had Belphegor—it’s not my fault he’s psychotic and works for a crazy ass bastard.” Gokudera isn’t pouting, absolutely not.

“Sure, sure, whatever you say.” Haru dismissively waves her hand at him.

“You two are always so funny.” Chrome giggles.

“Well, of course Gokudera can’t help how he—” Haru starts, “Funny looking for Haru, sure—” Gokudera overlaps.

Silence lapses briefly before both of them are bickering, Chrome caught in the middle.

“Umm, guys? Haru-kun? Gokudera-kun?” Chrome tries but is drowned out.

“How am I funny looking? You’re the one who’s called squid-head by Onii-san!” Haru fumes.

“Have you looked in the mirror? Or is your newest costume blocking the miserable view?” Gokudera retorts.

“Guys? Umm…” Chrome tries once more, but is still ignored for more arguing.

“Stupidera! Squid-head! You big meanie—” Haru yells.

Gokudera’s currently sticking his tongue out at Haru and glaring; and Chrome really just wants some sushi and silence.

“Ok! That’s...that's enough!” Chrome interjects, voice raised and hands clenched at her sides.

Both Haru and Gokudera turn and blink at her owlishly. She turns a light pink and ducks her head.

“I, um, I really should be heading out soon. I’ll just be at Yamamoto-san’s restaurant for lunch, but then I’ll be back.” Chrome finally gets out.

Haru lets out a squeak and immediately starts to wave her arms like a lunatic, startling both Chrome and Gokudera.

“Hahi! We’re so sorry Chrome-chan! ‘Dera and I kinda get heated when we talk sometimes.” Haru gives her puppy dog eyes, “Forgive us, please?” She then clasps her hands together and wobbles her bottom lip for the added measure. When Gokudera makes no move to apologize, he gets a painful nudge to the ribs.

“Tch—sorry.” He gets out, turning to glare at Haru.

Chrome gives them a small smile, “It’s ok. I just need to get going—and before you start worrying Gokudera-kun,” Chrome slants him a look, “I’ll be using illusions to disguise myself. Nothing should happen on the ten minute walk over, but if it does—I can protect myself, and Mukuro-sama would intervene if necessary. However, that is really unlikely and everything will be fine. I’ll text you when I get there safely, ok?” Chrome directs the last part at Haru who nods.

Chrome turns to leave but tacks on a final, “I’ll be going then, see you guys later.” Then she’s gone in a glint of indigo and a shroud of mist.

A beat of silence follows before he mutters, “When the hell did she get so mouthy?”

Haru slaps him on the shoulder, “Don’t say that! Chrome-chan’s been working on being more outspoken and I think she’s doing a great job.”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s doing great. Another loud mouth to add to the Family’s collection. At least you’ll be in good company,” He digs at her.

Haru huffs but ignores him—choosing instead to push past him into his apartment.

“Right, come on in.” He gestures to nothing but thin air.

“Oh stop being so dramatic. We have things to do and very little time to do them.” Haru nods in total confidence of what she has just said—regardless of whether or not Gokudera agrees or even knows what’s happening.

“And what exactly are these things that you and I are doing?” He narrows his eyes in suspicion, but still raises an eyebrow to encourage her to explain.

“These things, or as I like to call them, Haru’s Awesome Plans to Make Yamamoto-kun Fall in Love with You—or HAPMYFLY, is a series of events and ways to make Yamamoto-kun like you back and make the whole flower removal/Hanahaki thing completely unnecessary. It’s ingenious, I know.” Haru preens.

“There is so much wrong with just…” He gestures broadly, “everything you just said. I honestly don’t even know where to begin. Oh wait, yes I do.” He pauses for dramatic flair. “I think you’re forgetting one small, yet vitally important thing about that whole plan of yours.” He leans forward as if waiting for her to say it, but when nothing more than an unimpressed eyebrow is raised, he sighs and finishes it for her.

“Yamamoto would have to like guys for any of that to work, and if you were totally unaware—the guy literally has a date tomorrow. As in, the day after today. Sunday. With a girl.” He emphasizes.

“And?” Haru retorts.

“And?” He repeats incredulously, “And—he’s not gay.”

“I would agree with that based on the data we have.” Haru responds with a nod.

Gokudera almost rips his hair out in frustration but instead reopens his mouth to ask what the hell she's thinking then, when Haru continues.

“I would say he’s not gay, but I wouldn’t rule out bisexual. Or uh, pansexual…?” She says uncertainly.

“In all fairness, I’m still doing my research into things like that, but I’m getting there! You can definitely count on Haru!” She waves her arms excitedly.

“You don’t—” he sighs, “Fine. Thanks, I guess.” He mutters, touched but refusing to show it.

It’s still awkward to talk about the whole him-liking-a-boy-thing, especially when said boy is your fellow Guardian and one of your friends. And while having Haru know definitely makes it easier, she’s still the only one he’s actually told and confided in. It honestly feels like he’s being dishonest with everyone but Haru sometimes, but the thought of revealing who he likes, of revealing just who he’s choking up flowers for—

Well, it just makes him want to throw up for an entirely different reason.

“It’s no problem, you know? You’re my friend. I want to support you in the ways that really matter. And if it requires a little bit of a learning curve, then so be it.” Haru expresses this entire sentiment while making direct eye contact with him and god does he want to disappear into the floor.

“Ok, ok, stop with all the mushy gushy feelings already. Now, just explain to me why you think Yamamoto isn’t as straight as his stupid bat?” Gokudera crosses his arms to show how serious he is, but then remembers he has ramen on the table that is rapidly cooling and makes a beeline for his food.

“Ok, now explain it to me.” He says again with noodles hanging from the side of his mouth.

Haru’s nose crinkles, but she goes to explain, “Have you ever noticed how Yamamoto-kun describes guys? Like, for example, he’s mentioned how Squalo-san has really pretty hair for a guy, or how Onii-san has really great arms!”

Gokudera has to interrupt her there, “Ok, I’ll give you the Squalo one, but that’s just how the idiot describes people, and Ryohei has ridiculously great arms—no one would disagree or say anything otherwise on that.”

“Ugh, fine. But! I once asked him what he likes best about you and Tsuna-san, and you know what he said?” Haru leans forward.

“Dazzle me.” He intones, pointing his chopsticks at her from where he's leaning against the table.

Haru grabs the offending chopsticks and throws them in the sink, prompting him to shrug and just down the rest of his lukewarm ramen by pouring it straight down his throat.

“Ok, gross,” She complains, but then decides to move on, “So, right off the bat, he said that Tsuna-san is super reliable and a really incredible person. He also said that Tsuna-san is a great friend and that he always inspires him to try his best.” Haru nods vigorously while saying it—giving her stamp of approval to every word she’s repeating.

“Well yeah, the Tenth is the best. Everyone knows that.” Gokudera readily agrees.

“Oh absolutely! But when he moved on to what he likes best about you, he totally paused! ” Haru stops for a dramatic moment, and Gokudera raises his eyebrows, not overly surprised that the idiot had to think of something positive to say about him.

“He then went on to say that you’re a really funny guy, super dedicated to your friends, almost stupidly smart, and started saying something about…” Haru pauses to take a deep breath but Gokudera cuts her off.

“What? What could he have possibly said that would make you think him liking me was even a possibility? Cause no offense, he’s said those exact things multiple times to my face before.” He asks, arms crossed.

Haru glowers at him, “Let me finish and I’ll tell you! What made me think he might like you was the fact that Yamamoto-kun said that when he’s with you, he feels like he’s invincible—like you two can do anything or take down anyone. He really values your friendship and partnership! I mean, afterall, there is a reason you two are considered the Vongola’s best Guardian duo,” Haru points out.

“That’s...that’s not shit. Idiots like him value teamwork and camaraderie crap above all else, so us working together—and doing a kick ass job of it—fits perfectly as to why he likes me.” He slants her a look when she perks up at the end of his explanation, “I meant likes me, in like, a friend way—hell, I’ll even say in a best friend kind of way. He likes me in a completely platonic, just friends way,” He repeats.

“Whatever you say ‘Dera. But in my experience, ‘just friends’ don’t look at each other the way you and Yamamoto do,” Haru softly says.

They lapse into a brief awkward silence that is then broken by Uri jumping onto the table and almost sending his empty bowl crashing to the floor.

“Hahi! Uri you almost scared Haru to death!” She’s got a hand over her heart and is fanning her face like the old woman she secretly is.

“C’mon Uri, you know better than that.” He admonishes while scooping the cat up and off the table.

Uri meows in protest but begrudgingly allows the displacement. He’s placed gently on the floor because Gokudera is a complete softy, but then immediately darts towards the door.

“Is someone here, Uri-chan?” Haru asks, leaning down to peer at the cat.

“Shit! What time is it?” Gokudera hastily asks, whipping around to find any time telling device he obviously doesn’t own.

“It’s 11:40. What’s the matter?” Haru’s still holding her phone towards him, the digital numbers reading exactly what she had just said.

“The Tenth is coming over around 12 to talk about uh, uh everything? I guess?” Gokudera gives her an uncertain look and a shrug.

Haru opens her mouth, closes it, and then reopens it, “And you’re going to tell him...everything?”

He throws his hands up in frustration and hisses out, “I don’t know!”

“Hey! Don’t get angry with me! I’m just here to help!” Haru shoots back.

“I’m not—ok, sorry. I’m not angry, I just—I don’t know what to tell him!” Gokudera confesses.

“Ok, um, do you want to tell him your crush is on Yamamoto-kun?” Haru asks.

“Not really. But I’ve got to tell him something. He’s the Boss afterall.” Gokudera morosely flops into the kitchen chair and slumps.

“He’s also your friend. So I think he would understand if you weren’t ready to confess who you like. However, I think out of all the things you should tell Tsuna, I think you should tell him your crush is on a boy,” Haru says, eyes firmly trained on him.

Gokudera gives her a grimace that she wisely ignores.

“But what if—and get this—what if I just blow myself up? We avoid all of this bullshit and I technically won’t have to get the Hanahaki removal. It’s a win-win.” Gokudera tries to reason, but by the unimpressed look Haru’s giving him—it’s not very convincing.

“Nice try. Now what are you telling Tsuna-san?” Haru intones.

“I’m a friend of Lussuria,” Gokudera snarks.

Haru narrows her eyes, “Try again.”

Gokudera grumbles incoherently at her, but does as he’s told.

“I like guys. Like in the gay way, because I’m….gay,” He grits out.

Haru nods, “You sound like you’re in pain, but at least you said it. So I guess we’ll count that as a win.”

“Great. Yay,” Gokudera mutters.

Haru rolls her eyes but affectionately bumps him on the shoulder.

“It’s going to be fine! I bet you Tsuna-san won’t even care! It’ll just be like another fact about you, like how your favorite color is red, your blood type is B, you like guys, you’re a Virgo—which is arguably the worst thing about you, but whatever. Overall, it won’t even matter!”

“Gee thanks,” he mutters.

“No problem! Now Tsuna-san is going to be here any moment, so let’s gather our courage and fight on!” Haru enthuses far too loudly, limbs flailing in every direction.

One limb in particular comes too close to Gokudera and without really thinking about it, he lashes out, kicking Haru rather soundly in the shin. She releases a rather decent string of curses that Gokudera feels rather proud of, before she rounds on him and launches herself at his face.

They’re still fighting ten minutes later when Gokudera’s front door buzzes and he’s forced to greet the Tenth with a fading hand mark emblazoned on his face while Haru is hopping around clutching her foot and yelling in the background.

“Umm, I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” Tsuna tentatively asks while stepping into the room and shutting the door softly after him.

“What? Not at all, Tenth! Haru and I were just—” Gokudera begins.

“Fighting to the death! Tsuna-san! I demand that once I kill Stupidera, I become the Storm Guardian, it’s only fair!” Haru bellows.

“You don’t even have Storm flames, stupid! How would that work? Oh wait, it wouldn’t!” Gokudera fires back.

“Stupid? I’m not stupid! You’re the stupid one!”

They’re both sticking their tongues out at each other like the mature adults they’re not, when Tsuna starts to laugh. It’s a deep chuckle, the kind where it leaves you bent over and almost wheezing. Haru and him retract their tongues begrudgingly and focus their attention on Tsuna, giving him concerned and wary looks.

“Tsuna-san...are you ok?” Haru ventures.

“Yeah Tenth, you ok?” Gokudera repeats.

“Mmhm, I’m—” another chuckle interrupts, “I’m fine. You two are just so ridiculous sometimes. It just reminds me of how much things have changed—like how you two get along now—but just four years ago, neither of you could stand to be in the same room for more than an hour,” Tsuna gives them a bright grin, “it just really makes me happy.”

“Tsuna-san….” Haru begins to say, while Gokudera chokes out, “Tenth…”

Tsuna’s smile dims into something softer, but there’s something else pulling at his lips, something almost sad, “I’m really glad you two are my friends, even though it seems I haven’t been the greatest friend to you recently, Gokudera. I really hope you can forgive me.”

“That’s—don’t be crazy! There’s nothing to forgive! I shouldn't have kept something as important as this from you!” Gokudera sputters out.

“And I should’ve noticed you were suffering! ” Tsuna shoots back, shoving a hand into his hair and pulling, “I should’ve realized something was wrong months ago! I shouldn’t have learned you were sick by shooting you and having to watch you cough up blood and flowers! What kind of friend am I for not noticing sooner?” Tsuna despondently asks, brown eyes wide and remorseful.

The apartment is silent after Tsuna’s outburst, and Gokudera is trying to figure out what to say and where to go and he needs to say something—

But Haru beats him to it.

“The human kind,” Haru interjects, “the kind that makes mistakes and falls short and missteps, but ultimately, the kind that realizes their friend is suffering and chooses to do something about it. You’re a great friend, Tsuna, but everyone, including myself and Gokudera, make mistakes. The only thing that matters now is remedying our mistakes and learning from them.”

Haru slants them both fond smiles, “So going forward, let’s be honest with one another and give it our best, ok?”

Tsuna gives her a wobbly smile and a nod, before turning his attention back to Gokudera.

“I’m still sorry for not noticing sooner, but I’m here now. So whatever you want to tell me, whatever you don’t want to tell me—I’m here for it.” Tsuna rests a reassuring hand on his shoulder and for the first time since September, since the very first petal, Gokudera thinks it might actually be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The surprise! Hey guys, within the week or so I should have a separate 8059 fic out! It’ll be rated E and will be an A/B/O fic because I’m trash and can’t resist that trope, so once it drops, please give it a read here or on my tumblr @princessofspite

**Author's Note:**

> It’s 2020, I recently just rewatched KHR and started the manga and I’m suffering in YamaGoku or 8059 hell all over again. Here’s to hoping there’s still people who love this couple and show like me, if so hit me up at princessofspite on tumblr so we can scream about it!


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